Old School WTF

It’s been a good long while since I scoped something in Forever 21′s online catalog that literally made me say, “What the fuck?” out loud.

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Polka Dot Flowers Top: $13.80

Congratulations, Polka Dot Flowers Top. You broke through that WTF dry spell like a ruffled, mismatched BOSS. And the styling addition of what appear to be piss soaked cutoffs is nothing short of inspired.

My standards are impeccable. My expectations are high. You have exceeded them this day.

Forever 21, WTF and Thank You.

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Forever 21 Mixes Street Style with WTF

You all know the poses. The familiar shoe gazing, thoughtful glances and “Oh, I didn’t notice you there. I was just lounging awkwardly in front of this brick wall” look many fashion bloggers have come to adopt.

But all navel gazing aside, many of us (myself included) have come to expect and enjoy the sometimes quirky, mostly fabulous street style of the individual girl with a budding blog or built from the ground-up personal brand. So when I saw everyone’s favorite and simultaneously not so favorite fashion retailer was getting in on the action, I didn’t really know what to think.

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Look familiar? Forever 21 recently rolled out a new lookbook of priced to move pieces, which they have dubbed their “Exclusive Designs” collection. Im assuming this means none of these items have been ripped off from anyone else. No, this cluster eff is ALL on them.

The WTF is all too familiar, with heavy favoritism paid to crochet, mesh, the ass cape trend and whatever the 9 lb baby Jesus this is:

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I can only assume that wide-eyed look is due to the approaching villagers with pitchforks and torches, just off camera.

But I digress. What’s really interesting about this new development in Forever 21′s online catalog is not the offensive levels of salmon colored, mismatched neon crochet. It’s the dilemma of whether of not this presentation tactic makes those WTFs more alluring.

I mean, does this photo make me more likely to purchase and wear a mini dress length fishing net?

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Or does this?

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Well, since it’s Friday and my brain only works at 33% power, maximum on Fridays, I’m asking YOU to BE THE JUDGE.

Let me know in the comments what you think of Forever 21′s more editorial online look.

Forever 21, Not Sure if WTF or Wonderful.

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Acid Wash Denim Jumpsuit

There comes a time in the life of every multi-national clothing retailer when they must face a challenge. A challenge seemingly insurmountable. The challenge being how to make jumpsuits more dumb.

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Button Up Denim Jumper: $37.80

Lovelies, Forever 21 has wrestled that challenge into the dirt, wrapped it in acid wash denim from head to toe and hogtied it with a good, sturdy price tag.

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Pleated fronts. *Shiver*

Side fact* - this piece was modeled after what NASCAR pit crews and house painters in Mentos commercials wear in their downtime.

Forever 21, WTF?

*Not a fact at all.

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It was the Best of Pants, It was the Worst of WTFs

“Please, sir.”

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High Rise Overalls: $24.80

“May I have some more fabric? So that I may completely engulf this girl’s torso in periwinkle polyester and take this high rise overall party to the holy land of underboob?”

“MORE? High Rise Overalls has asked for MORE!”

These pants should be beaten within an inch of their old timey lives and then thrown into an orphanage for things with rolled hems that come in the color periwinkle.

More fabric, indeed.

Forever 21, WTF?

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UPDATE - Another Artist Alleges Forever 21 Stole his Design

Just a short day after Forever 21 came under fire for alleged illegal labor practices, yet another independent artist is accusing the international retail giant of stealing their design and slapping it on a cheap tee.

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According to his Twitter account, New York based artist Jon Contino was shocked when a friend sent the link for the above tee on the left side currently being sold by Forever 21 online and in stores around the country.

Contino created the piece, with it’s distinctive scrawled text over an even more distinctive anchor design, for his wife as a token of love. Turns out she wasn’t the only one who thought it was awesome.

Now, this is not, by any stretch, the first time Forever 21 has been accused of stealing designs, patterns and intellectual property from artists, so the similarities between their tee and Contino’s art does not surprise me.

But as a consumer? Someone who has a choice in where she spends her money and can make my opinions know through that choice? This does disappoint.

UPDATE

As of 6pm PST, this item is no longer available online. I figured that would happen. Guess who took a screenshot, bitches?

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Forever 21, WTF?

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Heart Marks the Spot

Let me tell you all a little about the art of subtlety.

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Jumbo Heart G-String: $3.80

This? This is not it.

They might as well put a big cookie on her crotch or maybe just a straight up picture of a birth canal.

Forever 21, I See What you Did There.

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It’s a Living

No matter how many times I see some model photographed for Forever 21 with a grimace on her face, no matter how many times I notice the look of sheer “no fucks given,” I STILL cackle.

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Fringe Trim Tank: $15.80

Seriously, let’s not even discuss the ridiculous, tribal, fringe frenzy on her torso. Let’s instead direct our attention to the main attraction. The deliciously “meh” main attraction.

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This is the facial expression equivalent of phrases like, “It is what it is” or “What’re you gonna do?” and “Ya can’t fight city hall.”

I’ve seen women eating salads who look like they’re having a better time.

Forever 21, Get that bitch some lettuce.

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Black Widow. Is that what we’re calling it now?

Ugh.

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Black Widow Tank Top: $13.80

I know its a comic character but, what is this? Is that her vagina’s thought bubble?

You know, I might actually buy this if they change the word “widow” to “vagina.” At least then the bizarre placement of the word on this tank would make more sense.

Also, I’ve always wanted a top with the word vagina on it since forever.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Is it Fresh?

Call me crazy, but does anyone else think it is not such a hot idea to wear jewelry that looks like a horse smelling it’s own ass?

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Wild Horse Ring: $3.80

I mean, he’s not even being subtle about it. The tail is at full lift extension. He’s peering around, utterly engrossed, nose gone deep like he’s inhaling a complex wine.

This is not a scene suitable for handshakes and first impressions.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Springtime Harem Pants

What’s that? Too cold out still for harem knee length pant/short hybrids? And even it was a solid 85 degrees around the world, Forever 21 should have realized by now that no real people who actually have real jobs outside of fashion actually WEAR harem pants in the first damn place?

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Zippered Harem Pants: $24.80

Nope.

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Not on your crotch sag loving life.

But rest easy, ladies. Not only does this new and improved version of the harem pant still provide the ample vagina carrying swath you know and love, it also has a new feature sure to drive your preferred gender of sex partner wild.

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Mutha. Fucking. Side. Zippers. Because there just are not enough items of clothing made for both versatile calf exposure AND the discrete smuggling of a sack of grain betwixt your thighs.

Forever 21, WTF?

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