Zooey Deschanel & the Case of Too Much Cute

Everyone seems to be up in arms over Zooey Deschanel right now. Maybe it’s the overload of her kewpie doll cuteness now on full display in “New Girl” that’s brought it about.

Maybe it’s the baby voiced, chunky banged, big eyed wonder she seems to live inside. But whether you want in to her kitten filled world of cotton candy rainbow clouds and farts that smell like fresh blueberry muffins, or you just want to strangle the shit out of her, odds are you probably have an opinion.

As for me, I’m torn. Part of me is insanely jealous of her seemingly innate ability to be approachably beautiful. And yet another part of me feels like gouging my ear drums open with a blunt breadstick when I hear her bored baby talk voice.

But there is ONE thing I DO love about Zooey (with two o’s for EXTRA “awww”) ¬†- here unabashedly out there affinity for all things adorable. Which brings us to today’s special post topic,

“What Would Zooey Wear?”

Brace yourselves.

Floral Bow Ring: $3.80

The cute is coming.


Floral Peter Pan Collar Dress: $13.99

What’s that? Oh, I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you. I was too busy singing my personal theme song to myself and admiring the pleated waist band on my baby doll dress to notice you were talking.

Giraffe Print Chiffon Blouse: $17.80

Yes, those ARE teensy giraffes on my peachy colored blouse!

Thanks for noticing.

Lace Brocade Jacket: $24.80

Oh, it’s not to keep me warm. It’s to keep me ADORABLE.

Bow Waist Tulle Skirt: $17.80

If wearing a tutu like I’m a round the clock understudy for a first grade ballet recital (despite the fact that I am well over 30 years of age) is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

Smiling Knitted Beanie: $7.80

So what if I didn’t get that job! I think it says a whole lot more about their professional standards as an abortion clinic than it does about me as a candidate if they’re against employees wearing adorable head gear with pompom ears. I mean, jeez, lighten up!

Horse Print Bow Clips: $1.50

It’s like a stampede of whismy! On my head!

F2018 Readers: $6.80

Sure, I could see without them. But having them on makes my idiotic¬†naivete seem ironic instead of just a nasty byproduct of years spent batting my eyelashes and ruining poor Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s LIFE.

SO – What are your thoughts on Zooey’s style? Too cute or just too much?


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24 Responses to Zooey Deschanel & the Case of Too Much Cute

  1. She’s not cute, she’s ADORKABLE!

  2. administrator

    UGH – Lord, take me now.

  3. Nastassia

    What’s not to love about her? I find her goofy mannerisms in New Girl make her all the more bonerific. And I’m not a dude.

  4. administrator

    Nastassia – Part of really likes her but another part is kind of insulted by her “goofiness.” It seems fake. For the benefit of men and not really real. If she was a REAL spaz she wouldn’t dress PERFECTLY, and do her hair and make up PERFECTLY. The only thing about that first episode that smacked of anything true was her over-texting and scaring off her “rebound” guy.

  5. Hannah

    Hate that I love her and her style. No one dresses cute anymore…except her. Besides, don’t you prefer cute to ho?

  6. administrator

    Hannah – totally agree. Love her style. Jealous of it. Love it.

  7. Kit N.

    Annoying manufactured adorkableness. Maunfactured for men. Such a shame too. I usually love me some Zooey but this show makes me want to puke rainbow glitter vomit and curse unicorns!

  8. administrator

    For reals. The girl CAN rock a headband and bangs no one else, though. No excuse.

  9. Nastassia

    Yeah, I know what you mean. Even I was like, what were they thinking putting such a hottie/cutie in that goofy-girl role? She hardly looks the part. The only scene where I thought she looked slightly less attractive was when she was bawling during Dirty Dancing. Plus I didn’t really understand why her roommates would have the hots for that so-called model friend of hers, and not for Zooey. Anyway, all that to say that I hope the rest of the season is more believable.

  10. samantha

    Fucking annoying. Like Katy Perry only fake weird instead of possibly legitimate and mildly amusing weirdness.

  11. I can’t listen to Death Cab for Cutie anymore and NOT think of Zooey, especially “Cath.”

    I hated “500 Days of Summer” and her careless, heart-breaking character. Why was every guy in love with her again?

    Still I did think the pilot of “New Girl” was mostly entertaining. I like that she’s neurotic and OCD and self-deprecating and not a Barbie spray tan blonde plastic surgery clone.

  12. Oh, and I love your post. For once there’s a blouse I would wear. Cute giraffes.

  13. Drea

    Too cute? Never too cute! :D
    I also like her collaborative blog site hellogiggles.com

  14. Mina

    I think I spent the entirety of (500) Days of Summer wishing I could pull off her looks. Oh, and New Girl too.

    P.S. I enjoyed New Girl! It was cute.

  15. I swear my grandmother still thinks it’s Katy Perry on “The New Girl” no matter what I do to try and convince her it’s not… she thinks Zooey is Katy’s nom de plume for acting… she really doesn’t believe me.

  16. emily

    zooey actually has a pretty awesome but little-discussed band called she and him, which i have to advocate for. think sweet, sixties pop. if you’re into such music, i’d check them out.
    pertaining to her style, i have to admit i find her absolutely adorable. it’s a wonderful she’s becoming more popular, but a shame that her style is getting overplayed, like a great song you can’t stand after the fiftieth time.

    oh, and the word adorkable?

  17. administrator

    Emily – yes, I’ve heard of her band. I don’t think its as under the radar as you think it is, at least not in Los Angeles. I like her voice and the music is nice, easy listening. Just can’t stand her acting like a toddler as a flirting tactic.

  18. emily

    okay, i’m in northern northern michigan. if it’s not on the top forty, it counts as little discussed :]
    and yup, agree with you on that one.

  19. Noel

    I find her highly irritating, bad at acting, and bad at singing! The whole cute/quirky is played out and overdone. She’s like a frumpy hipster version of Katy Perry, who is also very very annoying and talentless.

  20. evr

    Thank You for this post. She’s not that cute, not that smart, not that funny, and her singing f-ing sucks ass. And those nauseating F21 selections are fitting for her.

  21. Betsy

    How has no one mentioned She & Him????

  22. Laura

    I watch The New Girl because I think Leo from Veronica Mars is 100% bangable. However, I’m tempted to mute it every time she speaks, especially when she does that incredibly awkward singing thing. I think she’s an awesome singer but every time her character sings, it’s like the world collectively cringes. Even her cast-mates seem genuinely creeped out. Also, I concur with everyone that has already said “adorkable” is super fucking annoying.

  23. Michelle

    I’m a fashion blogger. So many fashion blogs love and worship the ground Zooey walks on. I think she’s kind of boring and annoying. Plus, I think she steals style from bloggers, then pretends like she inspires bloggers. In general, I find her incredibly frustrating.

    And she always talks in that baby talk voice. It’s annoying. She’s dumbing herself down so people think she’s sooo cute and funny and oh my god totally normal!! No, she’s not. Her sister is 100% more talented and much prettier, without the annoying personality and ridiculous public image.

    I have many thoughts about this dumb girl. :|

  24. administrator

    Michelle – I agree 100% about her. She annoys the shit out of me. In every possible way.

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