We Didn’t Start the Fire

I know it’s hard to see in this product shot, but do you know what these is?

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Sequins Dolphin Shorts: $19.80

Yes, they’re sequins dolphin shorts, AKA sequins running shorts, AKA the worst idea in the history of ideas about what to put between your thighs since Charlie Sheen.

Those are a fire waiting to happen and a chafing the wearer will not soon forget.

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Sequin Jogging Shorts: $17.80

These actually have the audacity to include the word, “jogging” in the name of the product. Because putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to increase physical fitness lends itself so well to glamour.

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Sequins Leopard Shorts: $17.80

According to the product description, these too were designed to break a sweat in. Although I suspect the only women wearing these are less concerned with working out than they are with simply being seen.

All these shorts are the clothing equivalent of those women who come into the gym with full make up on, hair down and freshly blow dried, who proceed to stretch, get water and make sexualized grunting noises on a few weight machines.

In a word: useless. I could go on, but i have to stop. The simple effing fact there is more than one example of bedazzled exercise gear for sale at Forever 21 right now is too much to handle.

Forever 21, WTF?

3 Comments

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3 Responses to We Didn’t Start the Fire

  1. So sad. I am usually a fan of sequins, but not as glitter-fest leopard print running shorts!

  2. ireliux

    wow! get ur mile done, and some cortizone on the go!

  3. Lori

    I too am unimpressed with the Richard Simmons for Forever 21 collection, but that doesn’t mean that some fashion forward exercise enthusiast wouldn’t mind sweating to the oldies in them. Oh, they’ll be feeling the burn alright!

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