Tag Archives: vest

Contrast Sleeve Denim Shirt

Holy balls.

Contrast Sleeve Denim Shirt: $19.80

This is an instance in which less is more. And the less is sleeve shoulders and the more is “WTF?!!?”

I feel like she is doing some bizarre show with her upper flesh. It’s like Avenue Q only starring disgusting denim vests instead of foul mouthed, overtly and disturbingly sexual puppets.

Frankly, I don’t even know how to tell you which is worse, but I guess on the plus side we don’t have to watch this vest have sex with another vest on stage.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Memorial Day Do’s and Dont’s

FREEDOM.

That’s what Memorial Day is all about.

Celebrating our freedom as Americans to look at fat titties, drink beers, cook animal flesh over an open flame and wear cut-offs. Preferably all at the same time.

Welcome to your Memorial Day Fashion Guide Do’s & Dont’s.

God bless you all and God bless America.

Mineral Wash Denim Halter: $7.80

Looking at breasts that threaten to escape from acid wash bikini tops is the most patriotic shit you can you engage in.

Therefore, it is only right that you DO wear this top that looks like a left over from the wardrobe of a Guns N’ Roses video.

Welcome to the jungle, baby.

Studded Cut-Off Shorts: $19.80

As I mentioned before, cut-offs are an America tradition. Like apple pie and slavery.

Make sure you DO wriggle yourself into the tightest pair of these babies you can find. Extra points for pairing them with American flag cowboy boots.

Leopard Print Dress: $19.80

Leopard print. Super Tight. Coochie surprise short. I know it looks like a Memorial Day fashion slam dunk. But there’s one big problem with this otherwise perfect display of American style.

It’s only got one sleeve. Only got one shoulder.

That’s just unacceptable on Memorial Day. ‘Cus we’re Americans, damnit. And we don’t do ANYTHING half-assed, not even our sleeves.

Studded Vest: $27.80

This silky looker calls back to the days when men were men, women were women and you could pay $.05 to grab a chicks titty in the corner of the saloon. Two for one on Sundays!

I’d suggest wearing this with the acid wash bikini top and cut-off shorts.

Aviator sunglasses and obesity optional.

Happy Birthday, Benjamin Franklin! That’s what this holiday is for, right?

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Urban Camo

Any smart, enterprising young man today knows that in order to survive in the concrete jungle you’ve got to think on your feet, protect your rep and maintain a constant air of mysteriously intriguing aloofness all at once.

And above all else, you have GOT to stay crisp.

But how does a sporting chap of meager means compete in the world of corporate sirship?

Two words – One Way of Life: Casual Camo.

Casual Camo Vest: $27.90

Well, hello there.

Camouflage Tie: $9.90

Combine the two for maximum stealthy sex mode effect.

My God… it’s like his entire torso is invisible to the naked eye yet at once irresistible to my lady senses.

I also have a strong desire to give him a raise … and go duck hunting.

Forever 21, Like a Boss.

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Wonderful Wednesday: How to Dress for The Hunger Games

Like so very many if you out there in the land of WTF, I have recently become completely, butt crazy obsessed with the series that is The Hunger Games.

The story of a future world where teenagers are pitted against each other in an annual to-the-death, no holds barred arena game is not exactly new territory.  Never the less Katniss Everdeen, the heroine of the wildly popular Hunger Games trilogy, and her tough yet vulnerable, trusting yet cynical, beautiful yet brutal character has managed to work her way into my dark, shriveled little heart as well as the hearts of millions around the globe.

In hot anticipation of The Hunger Games’ March 23 opening date ( as well as the multitude of movie goers who will be seeing it dressed as their favorite character) and to honor the positive spirit WTForever 21 tries to embody during this time of the week, I present your guide for what to wear to The Hunger Games.

Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks) & Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence)

Belted Sundress: $14.80

May the odds be ever in your favor. It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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Reader WTF

Reader Michelle who lives in Washington, DC snapped this layered mishap at a mall in Virginia.

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Once again, the expert store displays at Forever 21 mystify and baffle us all. The styling, the nuance, the strokeable Orange Julius colored faux fur.

Forever 21, WTF?

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How to Wear Faux Fur

I know what you’re thinking.

“Rachel! You HATE faux fur! You think it’s overall tacky and it makes you sneeze and it’s itchy and you have no idea how to wash it!”

If that’s what you’re thinking, you are thinking wrong, because after today’s trip to Forever 21 I have discovered I LOVE faux fur. I’ve just been wearing it wrong.

BOOM.

Leopard Top: $22.80

Leopard Leggings: $10.80

Purple Faux Fur Vest: $29.80

Grey Faux Fur Vest: $37.80

There it is, chickies. Soak it in. The only way to wear faux fur properly is to wear IT ALL AT ONCE and WITH LEOPARD PRINT.

Now, again, I know what you’re thinking.

“This bitch has lost her damn mind. She looks like a gender confused woolly mammoth.”

IF that’s what you’re thinking, you’re again thinking wrong. This ish is the height of fashion.

You just don’t get it.

And I feel sorry for you. Hate on me haters. I do not have time to explain fashion to you or why I ‘m dressed like a Russian Bond villain.

Forever 21, Furtastic.

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Exotic WTFolk

Although it might look easy to all you wonderful WTFers out there in Interweb land, diving into the daily pit of “excuse me, for reals, you did NOT just try to charge people $32.90 for that” which is Forever 21′s inventory is no simple task.

It takes patience, nimble fingers, sheer will and determination to cull the craziest shit from the mega-retailer’s online catalog. And just like on their physical stores, things online at Forever 21 are usually a scattered mess.

But not today.

BEHOLD – The Exotic Folk selection.

Beads, faux fur, fringe, looped yarn – all collected into one section with a floppy pink hat wearing mascot to guide your way. It’s like an all you can guffaw buffet up in here.

Damn.

Bead Trim Faux Fur Vest: $27.80

Haven’t seen a bugle bead in a long while, but damned if it isn’t taking center stage right in front of my face in the year 2011. This is what is known as Sherpa Chic. You could scale a mountain with the intent of yodeling or just use it to springboard your career as a Ricola commercial extra. Lots of choices with this one.

Suede Fringe Jacket: $59.80

Okay, before you even CONSIDER purchasing this, let me just ask you to think about your life choices for a second and whether you want everyone calling you Big Bird’s Lesbian Biker Sister. And have you heard the sound heavy, suede fringe makes when it hits other heavy materials? It’s like a stampede of miniature horses are following you around at all times. Madness.

Fringe Lace Poncho: $19.80

NOPE. Absolutely not. I am having none of this. I look at this and I say, “No, thank you. I will have none.”

Forever 21, WTFolk?

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Wonderful Wednesday: It’s Raining Men(swear Inspired Outfits)!

Ah, yes. The first rainy day of Autumn in LA.

It’s been coming down outside today like cats riding soaking wet dogs on chariots of water AND I LOVE IT!

Yes, people in Los Angeles act a fool when it rains. Yes, the weather turns cold and nasty and taking a walk is even lower on my scale of priorities when it rains. But that all means absolutely nothing in the face of the best reason to do a rain dance: Rain Weather Outfits! And since I am particularly partial to menswear inspired clothes during this time of year, this positive post is dedicated to looking posh while it’s positively pissing out.

Casual Tweed Vest: $19.90

Man up. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

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Destined for the Bargain Bin

There’s a woman in Los Angeles who, come to think of it, actually might just be a very convincing tranny. She dresses in all purple and tours the thrift shop scene. Sky high purple bee hive wigs, platform purple heels that enhance her already imposing six foot plus frame. Everywhere she went she stood out like a glamorous bruise.

I always wondered where she came from and when she started wearing purple. Do you wake up one day and, being the impulsive, brave and brash tranny fantasy you are, decide you’ll only wear one color for the rest of your life? Or do you start off alternating outfits comprised of just one color (green, gold, lush ruby red), then eventually settle on your favorite?

If that’s the case, this thing below is definitely a gateway garment to the single color lifestyle.

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Cheetah Lined Faux Fur Vest: $37.80

All the tranny mega hits are there. High impact color. Vaguely 70′s vibe. Faux Fur. The model even looks decidedly dangerous in this vest, like she might start lip-syncing to “It’s Raining Men” without warning or claw another bitches eyes out with a surprise Elvira manicure. Even though I know this vest is destined for the bargain bin, there’s something absurdly attractive about it.

I don’t know. Maybe I just hate faux fur so much my judgement has been clouded. Maybe my eyes are stunned by the brazen display of furry, high impact prison suit orange. And maybe, just maybe, I secretly wish there were more men who are woman wearing purple in the world.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Beaded Woven Vest for Girls

Just when you thought Forever 21 couldn’t find anything else to put beads on.

Just when you thought dressing your children like street performing monkeys has fallen out of style.

They spring THIS bling on you.

Beaded Woven Vest: $16.90

Aside from looking like something Aladdin would wear to the club, this vest is very fashionable…

if you’re a performer in the circus or are otherwise involved in a nomadic, carny-folk lifestyle where fashion sense takes a backseat to not getting stabbed in your sleep by a large, bearded lady.

Forever 21, WTF?

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