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Wonderful Wednesday: How to Dress for The Hunger Games

Like so very many if you out there in the land of WTF, I have recently become completely, butt crazy obsessed with the series that is The Hunger Games.

The story of a future world where teenagers are pitted against each other in an annual to-the-death, no holds barred arena game is not exactly new territory.  Never the less Katniss Everdeen, the heroine of the wildly popular Hunger Games trilogy, and her tough yet vulnerable, trusting yet cynical, beautiful yet brutal character has managed to work her way into my dark, shriveled little heart as well as the hearts of millions around the globe.

In hot anticipation of The Hunger Games’ March 23 opening date ( as well as the multitude of movie goers who will be seeing it dressed as their favorite character) and to honor the positive spirit WTForever 21 tries to embody during this time of the week, I present your guide for what to wear to The Hunger Games.

Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks) & Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence)

Belted Sundress: $14.80

May the odds be ever in your favor. It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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Lady Beetlejuice

Listen up, ladies who like to dress as sexy insert film or television character here every Halloween! Forever 21 has made their first, clear cut addition to the many clothing items in their catalog which can be used for costumes.

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Bold Stripes Shirt: $13.50

Vertical Striped Skirt: $19.80

Oh, but the resemblance is striking.

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Now all you need is the right wig, makeup or mask.

Forever 21…

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WTF?

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Cupid’s Picks

As a special treat for Valentine’s Day shoppers, Forever 21 has rolled out a list of gifts personally picked by Cupid, chief among them being sticks of sexual dynamite like this doozy.

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Poisoned Love Fringe Top: $14.80

Sometimes Forever 21′s picks are way off the mark, but I have to give it to them this year. A top like that is sure to make the lampshade of your dreams go ga-ga!

What’s that you say? You mean to tell me you didn’t plan to spend this Valentine’s Day cooking a sumptuous meal for, romancing, reading poetry to and then subsequently banging the shit out of a lampshade by candlelight?

You wanted to attracted a human BEING with this top?

Fine. More for me then.

Forever 21, Furniture Matchmaker.

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Wonderful Wednesday: All White Everything

Maybe it’s the unseasonably warm weather here in Los Angeles or just the eager beaver in me wanting to get a jump on my bangin’ ass Easter Outfit, but I have a serious hankering to wear me some white.

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Turtle Neck Sequin Dress: $29.80

Now, I know this colorless color is mostly reserved for the Spring time and the dress code of rap mogul birthday parties, but wearing white can make a lady look so damn fine and fancified it’s worth jumping the gun.

Plus it’s Wonderful Wednesday. And on Wonderful Wednesday, we does what the fuck we WANTS.

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Mesh Spaghetti Top: $19.80

There is no love lost between me and mesh anything. Most of the time it manages to make the person wearing it look somehow simultaneously sloppy AND like they’re trying too hard, but this top is an exception.

The soft dip of the fabric and the tight, neat circle spaces on the mesh makes it both work and weekend errand appropriate.

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Embellished Knit Cardigan: $29.80

With a new season of Mad Men perched on the horizon, this ivory cardigan with its delicate bead trim is the perfect way to get your Peggy Olson on.

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Beaded Burst Clutch: $22.80

We all know beaded Ice Queen envelope clutches are not for everyday wear (at least I HOPE we all know this) but on a special occasion or night out the all white appliqué is subdued enough to be classic and sparkly enough to be eye catching.

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Sunglasses: $5.80

If these don’t make you feel like Beyonce on Caribbean yacht vacation then I don’t know what will.

Okay, I know what will but where are we going to find a diamond encrusted thong bikini and a Jay Z look-a-like on such short notice? Forget it, lady.

Forever 21, Wonderful.

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Bicycle Cat Top

Words.

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Bicycle Cat Top: $17.80

Sometimes there are none.

Sometimes… you really just have to shut your damn mouth and enjoy the site of a cat with an abnormally large head, dressed in flowy, purple pantaloons and a Victorian era top standing next to an old timey bicycle.

Forever 21, You are Doing Bicycle Cat Top SO Right.

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Rhinestone Panther Knows your Secrets

There is something straight up creepy about this panther top.

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Rhinestone Panther Top: $17.80

I think it’s the way the eyes follow you no matter where it’s turned.

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Pretty neat effect in a scary haunted house or a spooky carnival ride, but panthers with death stares made of rhinestones are not exactly great first date quality wear.

I almost feel like it should be associated with some kind of terrifying urban myth, like looking into a mirror and saying, “Bloody Mary” or “Lindsay Lohan” three times with all the lights off. I dare you to turn off all the lights in your room, look rhinestone panther in the eyes and say “Bling Panther” three times.

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Fucking NOPE.

Forever 21, BLING PANTHER. BLING PANTHER. BLING PANTHER.

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Forever 21′s Canadian Cadet

At the behest of one reader who hails from America’s hat (otherwise known as Canada) I went snooping through Forever 21′s online racks available to the great hockey nation and unearthed a true gem.

Woven Cadet Shirt: $18.99

Whilst deep in the bowels of BoGo territory, cutting my way through the overgrowth of floral rompers and obnoxiously printed maxi dresses, I was presented with this, a relic from the brief and long forgotten era when military inspired clothes were acceptable.

Blimey. It’s a gorgeous specimen. Look at the wingspan! Military inspired tops with puff sleeves are all but extinct now, however in it’s heyday, this top must have been quite a sight to see, soaring majestically over sales racks and making its nest from the finest crocheted cardigans and lime green bib tops. If you’ve got $18.99 Canadian, you could own a bit of history. Terrifyingly tacky, virtually unwearable history, but history, none the less.

Forever 21, I Salute You.

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Plus-Size Problems

It’s been too long since we took a look at the torture Forever 21 is trying to inflict on big girl bodies across the globe and what better way to kick off the weekend than to re-ignite the debate about whether plus-size ladies should ever wear leopard print leggings.

Shall we delve deeper into the fanciful world of Forever 21′s XXL collection?

Sleek Leopard Leggings: $15.80

LET’S SHALL.

Beat as One Top: $13.80

The cropping on this one is rather unfortunate.

Capri Harem Pants: $17.80

I’m going to tell you something and you’re not going to like it.

Those “capri harem pants” you’re doing that sassy little pose in? Those pants that look to be cutting off your circulation at the waist and ankle, resulting in a build up of flesh right around where your ass should be?

Those is sweatpants, boo. Sweatpants pretending to be capri pants, no less. I guess at least when you’re sweating it out at the club you’ll be appropriately dressed.

Before I even tell you what this is, let’s play a little guessing game to see if you can figure it out just by the photo.

Is it a hair tie meant to accent your Black Swan costume this year?

Is it a church lady hat?

Is it a cat toy?

All wrong.

Feather Front Stretch Belt: $5.80

It’s a belt. Because that’s just what every woman wants. A mess of feathers hovering above her lady parts like a black vulture anus.

Forever 21, WTF?

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StarePanda

Hmm…

Tribal Panda Pullover: $18.90

Where have I seen THIS before?

Was it this?

No… no…

It was this.

 

Definitely this.

Forever 21, Why Are You Holding Cupcakes Just Out of that Panda’s Reach?

 

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Wonderful Wednesday: Cozy, Comfy & Cute

There’s something about the Fall and Winter seasons that makes you wanna bake an apple, drink some warm cider and snuggle up with a fluffy blanket on the couch to watch the leaves and rain fall and think about where your life is going while Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” plays softly in the background.

But just because you’re drinking spiced apple juice and bumming it around the house, doesn’t mean you have to look like a bridge troll while doing it. In celebration of the gently, crisp breeze and lovely fresh weather to come this Fall, let’s take a look at some of the Forever 21′s affordable finds that’ll keep us all snug as a bug in a ploly-blend rug while still maintaining our feminine mystique.

Checkered Woven Shirt: $14.80

Get your snuggle on. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

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