Tag Archives: top

Weirdo Crop Top

See, this pisses me off to no end.


Weirdo Crop Top: $12.90

Those of us who are truly weird know this is just a try-hard attempt on the part of certified Basic Bitches to make themselves seem more interesting.

Guess what – if you’re weird you won’t need a crop top for people to know it. This is like a neck beard in a fedora wearing a shirt that says, “Nice Guy” or “Rage filled Virgin” or Taylor Swift wearing a top that says, “I’m really a lizard being from the planet Lippglozz wearing a human woman’s skin.”


Forever 21, WTF?


Filed under Straight WTF

Wonderful Wednesday: Perfect Pleats for a Lazy Lady

I’m trying something new this Wonderful Wednesday.

It’s called being too lazy to finish writing up The Great Gatsby inspired post I started last night.

Instead, here’s my clothes thrown on the floor in a way I would wear them!

Jacket: Forever 21 $27.80

Top: Macy’s Bar iii

Skirt: Forever 21 $17.80

Necklace: Dunno

Bracelet: Forever 21 $7.80

Shoes: Michael Antonio $44.99

Ring: Ariel Gordon Jewelry – (I got this for basically free with a coupon code)  $75


of this new Wonderful Wednesday format? It comes from the purest place of not wanting to either do research or even put on real clothes.

Let me know in the comments!


Filed under wonderful wednesday

Scarf Print Contrast Shirt


Scarf Print Contrast Shirt: $24.80

The very essence of your grandmother, distilled into a shirt.

This shirt keeps the plastic on its furniture.

This shirt has a room full of antique dolls.

This shirt pinches your cheeks with its paper thin, bony fingers and then gives you stale Werther’s Originals as a reward.

This shirt has one of those tubs with a door that you walk into.

It remembers when you were just THIS tall and it doesn’t understand how to use the internet.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Sheer High-Low Trapeze Shirt

Have you ever seen a human-sized costume of a flying squirrel competing in a drag contest?

Sheer High-Low Trapeze Shirt: $15.80

You have now.

Forever 21, NUTS.

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Filed under Straight WTF

Zippered Raptor Daisy Top

Leave it to Forever 21 to make a cheetah, one of the most badass, awesome, stealth, adorable when babies, animals on the planet look totally fucking lame.

Zippered Cheetah Daisy Top: $17.80

Let’s apply the same treatment to another animal and see if we can’t make it look like a desperate, old hippie whore as well.


What was once an iconic villain of my childhood is instantly reduced to the Tammy Faye Baker of prehistoric reptiles.

Newflash, Forever 21 – cheetahs and raptors do not need pink eye shadow to look awesome.

Forever 21, WTF?


Filed under Straight WTF

Ok. Fine. WTF.

This shirt was made for me.

Ok. Fine. Whatever. Tee: $16.90

Forever 21, What-ever.

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Hola, Chicas!

This Wonderful Wednesday is dedicated to pieces with the rosey and red colors that match fiery, Mexican hearts around the globe and all the people who will become enchilé from the fiery Mexican food to be consumed this Cinco de Mayo.

Charo y Rick Salvador

Viva Mexico, Putas.

It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

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Wonderful Wednesday: Act Like a Lady, Dress Like a Dame

I love summertime.

Summertime, when the days are long and warm and we can spend weekends in the grass, dining on ripe, red strawberries like fat little rabbits. When legs go bare and shoulder blades brown up in the golden sun.

 Right now the trend is neon colored hipster frenzy in tube tops and cheesy cut offs, but today I am calling for a return to the lady-like art of summer wear.

Time to put on your big girl pants.

It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

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What’s All This Tie Dye?

So there I am, minding my own business, when I come across this:

Fringe Tie Dye Tee: $12.80

At first I was like this:

And then I was like this:

But, finally, I was like this:

Forever 21, What’s All This Tie Dye?

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Ombre Fringe Slub Top

When is this going to stop happening?

Ombre Fringe Slub Top: $17.80

When are these sadists going to stop doing this to breasts?

Who, besides people with a strangely specific fetish for aging horse manes draped over lady lumps, is this appealing to?

It’s like a nipple car wash that doesn’t actually wash nipples or cars and just causes confusion.

It looks like she has one of Nicki Minaj’s wigs draped over her tits.

Oh yeah. That looks normal.

Forever 21, WTF?


Filed under Uncategorized