Tag Archives: sweater

Dress Like There’s Nobody Watching

Well before the dawn of modern Hipsterdom, adventurous young men and women began flirting with the fashion line between counter culture trends and just plain looking like you got dressed in the damn dark. In the photo below (sent to me by the very Diva-licious Aldo of WhatHadHappa.com) a brave mannequin at the Forever 21 in Salinas, CA took the whole “mirrors or eyes or a sense of  complimentary colors and patterns are SO mainstream” look to a different level this weekend.

The hideousness of this ensemble is, I assume, without question, but there is one mystery still to be uncovered in this unfortunate photo (well, besides the obvious “Why would you ever do this?”).

Is that mannequin … or a MANnequin? As in, a statue with testosterone? As in, meant to be wearing male clothing? Our intrepid photographer tells us he spied this delight in the lady’s section but I am dubious. The legs are pin thin enough and the shoulders are far too broad for a Forever 21 women’s display.

What do you all think? Does this dude look like a lady or does this lady just look like a douche?

Forever 21, WTF?

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Drop Bows on ‘Em

You know what’s missing from my life (other than servants)?

Jeweled Accent Top: $22.80

A sweater with subtle jewel, rhinestone accent and large, satiny bow on the side.

But, I still feel like it’s missing something.

French Terry Bow Pullover: $22.80

A chiffon rat’s tail! MORE sequins! How did you KNOW?

Forever 21, You Read my Mind and then you BLEW it.

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Derelicte!

WTFresh Hell is this?

Price: $26.00

Is that an old fisherman’s net with little peices of trash  and carp scales bundled together at the collar? Are those yarn loops?

Nope. Just trash.

This thing looks like a piece from Mugatu’s Derelicte campaign.

Forever 21,

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOBAEa9wn8]

WTF?

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Fugly Shrugly

I’m not the biggest fan of ruffles.

Nor am I the biggest fan of skin-tight half sweaters that accentuate nothing but the joint between my shoulders and arms.

Enter the Ruffle Knit Shrug:

Price: $13.80

Let’s pause for a moment and forget about the absurd ruffles, which are too short to provide any neck warmth and too plentiful to provide any sanity.

Briefly disregard the overall uncomfortable, bunchy polyester clusterfuck of it all.

Just focus on the models face.

The model, whose sole purpose here is to sell the garment by inspiring our lustful envy, could only muster a look of peeved bewilderment, as if someone had just told a racist joke in mixed company or asked her to take her shoes off before coming into their house.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Aztec Print Pullover

Bullcrap.

THAT is nothing but a thinly, poorly disguised Cosby sweater. Put this on and see how many seconds it takes people to start asking you about Jell-o pudding and why Dr. Huxtable never seemed to ever be at work during the damn daytime.

Price: $16.90

Forever 21,

Exactly.

WTF?

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