Tag Archives: suede

Genuine Suede Fringe Halter Top

Besides the obvious occasions, like winning first place for the worst Pocahontas cosplay ever or fucking Coachella, I’m wondering under what circumstances any of us would wear this.

fringetop

Genuine Suede Fringe Halter Top: $24.90

This must be for people who live their lives like a drum circle could break out any moment. Like Matthew McConaughey or Ed Begley Jr. Damn. What I wouldn’t give to see the “Who wore it best” for that pair.

Forever 21, WTF.

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It’s Over!

Sooo … you do know Halloween is over, right?

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Fringed Suedette Jacket: $39.80

You DO know people are done dressing up like sexy little Tiger Lily sluts, correct?

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And that no one is trying to rock the Lone Rider, 1950s television western interpretation of what cowboys looked like – am I to understand you ARE fully aware of this fact?

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I mean, I know YOU know damn well jackets shouldn’t have laces. I’m just confused as to why this exists.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Exotic WTFolk

Although it might look easy to all you wonderful WTFers out there in Interweb land, diving into the daily pit of “excuse me, for reals, you did NOT just try to charge people $32.90 for that” which is Forever 21′s inventory is no simple task.

It takes patience, nimble fingers, sheer will and determination to cull the craziest shit from the mega-retailer’s online catalog. And just like on their physical stores, things online at Forever 21 are usually a scattered mess.

But not today.

BEHOLD – The Exotic Folk selection.

Beads, faux fur, fringe, looped yarn – all collected into one section with a floppy pink hat wearing mascot to guide your way. It’s like an all you can guffaw buffet up in here.

Damn.

Bead Trim Faux Fur Vest: $27.80

Haven’t seen a bugle bead in a long while, but damned if it isn’t taking center stage right in front of my face in the year 2011. This is what is known as Sherpa Chic. You could scale a mountain with the intent of yodeling or just use it to springboard your career as a Ricola commercial extra. Lots of choices with this one.

Suede Fringe Jacket: $59.80

Okay, before you even CONSIDER purchasing this, let me just ask you to think about your life choices for a second and whether you want everyone calling you Big Bird’s Lesbian Biker Sister. And have you heard the sound heavy, suede fringe makes when it hits other heavy materials? It’s like a stampede of miniature horses are following you around at all times. Madness.

Fringe Lace Poncho: $19.80

NOPE. Absolutely not. I am having none of this. I look at this and I say, “No, thank you. I will have none.”

Forever 21, WTFolk?

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