Tag Archives: shoes

Le Costume Post Part 5: LMFAO … Would Love these Shoes

I’m pretty sure by now most of your have heard at least one of their songs, but for the folks who are currently living an LMFAO-less life (how SAD for you), go ahead and peep the following video.

In case you didn’t make it far enough in, the premise is simple. LMFAO have been in glitter and Afro sheen comas for hundreds of years. They awake, dazed and still fuzzy from the fumes of what must be a shitload of hairspray and body glitter, and stumble out onto the street to realize their song, “Party Rock Anthem,” has spread across the globe causing everyone who hears it to compulsively “shuffle” every day.

What ensues is a mega dance of sequin, day glow MADNESS on a  backlot with splashes of animal print thrown in for good measure.

Sequined Tiger Tennis Shoes: $14.80

I submit to you these shoes. If you were going to dress like a Party Rocker for Halloween, this piece would be a perfect jumping off point. Besides looking like the the shoes C3PO’s drag queen son would wear, they’re also a dead ringer for something LMFAO would shuffle in. Every day. Now all you need to do is carry a ghetto blaster blaring out their latest album, tease up your hair and wear the tightest, brightest, shiniest shit known to man on the rest of your body and BAM! Good to go.

Forever 21, LMFAO.

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Dress Like There’s Nobody Watching

Well before the dawn of modern Hipsterdom, adventurous young men and women began flirting with the fashion line between counter culture trends and just plain looking like you got dressed in the damn dark. In the photo below (sent to me by the very Diva-licious Aldo of WhatHadHappa.com) a brave mannequin at the Forever 21 in Salinas, CA took the whole “mirrors or eyes or a sense of  complimentary colors and patterns are SO mainstream” look to a different level this weekend.

The hideousness of this ensemble is, I assume, without question, but there is one mystery still to be uncovered in this unfortunate photo (well, besides the obvious “Why would you ever do this?”).

Is that mannequin … or a MANnequin? As in, a statue with testosterone? As in, meant to be wearing male clothing? Our intrepid photographer tells us he spied this delight in the lady’s section but I am dubious. The legs are pin thin enough and the shoulders are far too broad for a Forever 21 women’s display.

What do you all think? Does this dude look like a lady or does this lady just look like a douche?

Forever 21, WTF?

25 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Traveling Clothes: How to Breeze Through Airport Security

Travel.

Is there any bigger pain in the ass?

At the end of this week I’ll be winging my way to New York city via Virgin America, and although I love the Big Apple and all the wonders held therein, I truly loathe the flying process. You’ve got the lines, the long waits for overpriced, under par food, flight delays, crying kids, uncomfortable accommodations, yadda yadda yadda. But of all these inconveniences which are now a reality of the miracle that is modern day transport, security checks  are the only part that aren’t a total crapshoot. At the security line, we all have a nugget of control.

So, in honor of my pending travel plans, I offer a few fool proof ways to get through airport security faster, happier and almost unmolested.

Scalloped Applique Top: $17.80

Save airport security some time by wearing this see-through scalloped top to the terminal. It’ll make it that much easier for the technicians to make sure you’re not smuggling illegal drugs in your womb when you go through the scanner.

Scalloped Chain Necklace: $6.80

You don’t want to set off any alarms. Luckily, this necklace is completely devoid of any metals occurring in nature, allowing you to avoid the embarrassing prospect of being told to take off your accessories by the TSA for security purposes. (What they say to you about taking it off for FASHION purposes most definitely falls under the category of, “That’s not my problem. You’re the one who decided to wear medieval chain mail on your trip to Munich or where ever.)

Slingback Stiletto Heels: $22.80

Now, most travel guides will tell you to wear soft, comfortable, easy going shoes you’ll be able to slip on and off through security. Fuck that! Taking a flight is basically like getting on a public bus and if you’re going to fly the rude and rowdy skies you need some serious backup. While security is doing a cavity search on a little old lady who tried to bring a pair of treezers on board, you can swish your cute little ass right past them wearing these bad boys. ‘Cus the last time I checked, the business end of a platform stiletto still isn’t classified as a weapon, but that don’t mean you couldn’t poke a bitch with it for bogarting the arm rest.

Abstract Dolphin Shorts: $16.90

Have something really embarassing in your bag? Want to sneak that full size shampoo or family pack of self tanner onto the plane? No problem. Just slap on these babies and the security agents will be way too busy trying to figure out how you managed to time travel from the year 19-fugly to notice the wriggling, penis shaped lump in your luggage! Did you fall through a wormhole at the Circle K? Did you befriend an eccentric doctor and come to be in this century by way of wacky and/or serendipitous circumstances? It doesn’t matter. You’re already in your seat, enjoying the full loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter you packed in your carry-on.

Forever 21, Happy Trails!

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Fantastic Friday: Princess Party Post

Once in a great while, when the moons align and a tender breeze whistles through the dankest sweatshop sewing floor, we here at WTForever 21 press pause on the almost endless vitriol injected into posts to thank the Heavens for Forever 21′s standout selections.

In honor of my birthday tomorrow and impending Princess Party to celebrate it, today’s positive post will highlight all that’s pink and regal in the realm of WTF.

Hold on to your tiaras.

Floral Leatherette Flats: $19.80

It’s Fantastic Friday. Continue reading

7 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Get It Now!

Get what now?

A job having my g-string plugged with sweaty dollar bills or a communicable disease? I spied this selection of busted ass stripper heels on the top floor of a Forever 21. Most of them were soiled in some fashion, and all of them looked as if they had been worn. To the club. Many times. Until closing.

Check out these gems. Sky-high, red feathered shoes, ripe for the picking. You’d have to be a fool or someone who doesn’t like getting a stranger’s foot crust on you not to buy these!

And these! Electric blue and heavy on attitude.

And dirt.

It was hard to tell just by looking at them, but I am guessing these shoes may have been the shoes below at some point in history.

Suedette High Cone Heels: $22.80

 The years, they have not been kind.

Forever 21, WTF?

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Busted Ass Boots: Beyond Thunderdome

Two shoes enter…

All dignity leave.

Thunderdome, bitches.

Forever 21, We Don’t Need Another Hero.

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

5 Old WTF Trends that Need to be Retired

Forever 21 has made their fortune selling cheap trend items to the masses and although I respect everyone’s right to safely shop for items of the moment, there are a few things still in stores that should have stopped existing by now.

1.

Stupid Owl Accessories

I still haven’t figured out how wearing the wisest bird in the animal kingdom on your person makes you look so effing stupid.

2.

Dumb Ass Sublimation Tops

Basically anything with those stretch marking looking lines over the print of the shirt needs to stop. It looks like some lazy form of tie-dye and it’s so ugly even hippies won’t wear it. Stop it.

3.

Lamé. It’s spelled that way for a reason.

4.

Ridiculous Gladiator Sandals

You know what these could use? More straps. Leave away from here, Gladiator Sandals. You’ve had enough.

5.

Accessories, Clothing, Etc. with Feathers

Despite the fact that I have never actually seen anyone in real life wear a feathered accessory, Forever 21 keeps cranking out these oversize cat toys. I can only hope they’re being purchased and then shredded to bits by irate felines in homes across America.

Forever 21, WTF?

17 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Wonderful Wednesday: Valentine’s Day Edition

Once a week, for but a brief 24 hour period, we press pause on the mini series of hate that is WTForever 21 and give propers to F21 for their thrifty and wonderful selections.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, this Wednesday we’re bringing the sex.

Peep Toe Heels: $22.80

Hold on to your thongs, this is Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

To Grandmother’s House we go

Mercy, mercy, mercy.

Price: $18.80

These shoes could make an abandoned, ratty roadside sofa blush with embarrassment.

Just looking at these floral printed foot failures brings me right back to grandma’s house and all the unfamiliar and unsettling sights and smells of creeping death within.

Forever 21, put some plastic on those shoes so they won’t get ruined.

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized