Tag Archives: sex

Jurassic WTF

Much like man’s misguided attempt at playing a dinosaur engineering God in the classic film, Jurassic Park, Forever 21 frequently plays a dangerous, dangerous game with the laws of nature.

Mostly the one law of nature in particular that guards against anyone under the age of 45 wearing oversized Southwestern jewelry.

Tribal Chord Necklace: $8.80

This piece of course is a replica of what the ancient Mayans referred to as The Amulet of Eternal Virginity and has served to protect men and women alike from anyone ever trying to bone them.

Even though the amulet’s origins can be traced back to BC, some scholars of Forever Aloneness have asserted its lineage is far more ancient.

Historically accurate rendering.
 

Apparently, dinosaurs like this one had been using the amulet’s design to ward off any sexual advancements from possible mates millions of years ago.

Forever 21, Why Don’t you ever Want us to do Sex?

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Forever 21 Selling the Spread Eagle to Teen Girls

I’ve heard of selling sex in fashion but this is just ridiculous.

Spread Eagle Ring: $3.80

Seems like someone at Forever 21 is having a little fun with naming the new inventory this week. I know “spread eagle” is technically the correct phrase for this pose, but it’s also a poor choice of words.

Now, this could be a kind of lost in translation thing, but I highly doubt it. Whatever the case, this ring is a hilarious mix of patriotism and porno.

Now all we need is a cunnilingus cardigan and a pair of fuzzy 69ing slippers.

What do you think about this dirty little ring?

Forever 21, WTF?

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