Tag Archives: sequins

Forever 21′s Dirty, Ripped Up, Busted Secret

Upon my last visit to the day-glow, cheap shit gigolo that is Forever 21, I made the grave (and hilarious) error of forgetting where the fuck I was and expecting their sales rack to contain something other than filthy, tattered rags.

Forever 21 Ripped Dress

Forever 21 Ripped Dress

Forever 21 Ripped Dress

Now, some of you may be looking at these photos and saying, “Rachel, come on! It’s the sale rack at Forever 21. What do you expect?”

Forever 21 Ripped Dress

I can hear you saying it in your nasally little voices right now. It’s the same tone of voice that your annoying friend uses when she is informing you that the classic rules of Monopoly say no one gets the money in free parking or that you actually did deserve that speeding ticket when you were running late to see Don Jon.

It doesn’t matter what I EXPECT. If I lived my life expecting people (which corporations are – thanks, Romney) to try to sell me turds rolled in glitter with price tags on them at every turn, I’d never leave the house. Especially when I can order them on Amazon from the comfort of my couch, fuck-you-very-much.

For the un-initiated, when a garment is this rough looking…

Forever 21 Ripped Dress

this trashed…

Forever 21 Ripped Shirt

and this generally effed…

Forever 21 Ripped Top

you damage it. Meaning you mark it as a damaged, unsaleable piece of shit and take it off the sales floor because, how embarrassing, we don’t want our customers to think homeless people routinely come into the store and just switch whatever they have on for what’s on the hangar in front of them.

Forever 21 Ripped Shirt

Well, ok, fine. Given that pretty much all Forever 21 stores cover enough square footage to comfortably accommodate a weight watchers meeting for pachyderms, I gave them  a small amount of leeway and conducted a little experiment to see what the employees would do (or rather, what their beaten down, age-inappropriately dressed manager would do) when confronted with damaged merchandise.

I took one of the sweaters to the cashier and attempted, with a face as straight as Linda and Esther Chang’s pubic hairs, to purchase the item.

Forever 21 Ripped Sweater

“Sure! Oh, is this supposed to be this way?” asked the sales associate as he turned the fretted rag over in his perfectly manicured hands.

“I don’t think so. Actually, I was going to ask if I could get a discount for the damage,” I replied, innocent and doe eyed.

This is the point at which in any respectable store, the sales associate would give the garment a once-over and reply, “Actually, this looks way too damaged for us to sell. I am going to have to mark it as such. I will offer you a 10% discount on any other full sale item in the store. Sorry about that.”

What ACTUALLY happened, is he said he had to get his manager, who then told me the item was already on sale BECAUSE OF THE DAMAGE and that she would not discount it further. That I could still purchase this rag, if I wanted to, but only at the price as marked.

So apparently, instead of taking severely damaged merchandise off the floor and creating some semblance of dignity and respect for the wares they expect people to spend hard earned money on, Forever 21 would rather be in the business of trying to sell people scrap fabric covered in cheap sequins and clutches that look like they belong to a manic depressive drag queen with shaky hands.

Forever 21 Purse Gross

And before you go protesting that “Forever 21 is a fast fashion store! Their clothes are cheap! I don’t expect them to treat their own merchandise (which could eventually become a part if MY wardrobe) with respect,” THINK about that statement and realize that you are culpable in how this company and many others do bad business.

If we don’t hold chains like Forever 21 to even a little bit of a standard, then they won’t have any standard to meet. They’ll do things like rip off small, independent designers, treat their employees like shit and contribute to the scourge of sweat shop labor (allegedly).

So the next time you shell out $9.99 on a damaged top at Forever 21 because “oh, I can just fix it at home” or “It’s just so CHEAP!” remember that you’re not in a charity thrift store. You’re contributing to a billion dollar corporation with arguably questionable ethics and a calculating eye on the bottom line.

An eye they apparently choose to turn blind when confronted with shit like this:

Forever 21 Filthy

Forever 21, WTF?

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WTFavorite Things: Lulu*s Giveaway

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LuLuS

Lulu*s is one of my favorite retailers for on-trend party dresses. And I’m not just saying that because they’ve so graciously agreed to give one of you this “Heart to Get Dress.” Which they have.

As someone who enjoys the filly things in life, I’m always looking for cute ways to show my girly side in my style choices (a lady cannot live on WTFs alone).

This minty, magical, sparkly moment of a dress from Lulu*s contains all the ingredients to get me feeling like a sexy little teacup without overexposing my chesticles or giving anyone around me a non-refundable and unsolicited ticket to The Booty Show.

Enter below for your chance to win this glittering dandy from Lulu*s and make sure to come back every day for more prizes, deals and dirty fashion deeds.

Name: *
Address: *
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Wonderful Wednesday: All White Everything

Maybe it’s the unseasonably warm weather here in Los Angeles or just the eager beaver in me wanting to get a jump on my bangin’ ass Easter Outfit, but I have a serious hankering to wear me some white.

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Turtle Neck Sequin Dress: $29.80

Now, I know this colorless color is mostly reserved for the Spring time and the dress code of rap mogul birthday parties, but wearing white can make a lady look so damn fine and fancified it’s worth jumping the gun.

Plus it’s Wonderful Wednesday. And on Wonderful Wednesday, we does what the fuck we WANTS.

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Mesh Spaghetti Top: $19.80

There is no love lost between me and mesh anything. Most of the time it manages to make the person wearing it look somehow simultaneously sloppy AND like they’re trying too hard, but this top is an exception.

The soft dip of the fabric and the tight, neat circle spaces on the mesh makes it both work and weekend errand appropriate.

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Embellished Knit Cardigan: $29.80

With a new season of Mad Men perched on the horizon, this ivory cardigan with its delicate bead trim is the perfect way to get your Peggy Olson on.

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Beaded Burst Clutch: $22.80

We all know beaded Ice Queen envelope clutches are not for everyday wear (at least I HOPE we all know this) but on a special occasion or night out the all white appliqué is subdued enough to be classic and sparkly enough to be eye catching.

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Sunglasses: $5.80

If these don’t make you feel like Beyonce on Caribbean yacht vacation then I don’t know what will.

Okay, I know what will but where are we going to find a diamond encrusted thong bikini and a Jay Z look-a-like on such short notice? Forget it, lady.

Forever 21, Wonderful.

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We Didn’t Start the Fire

I know it’s hard to see in this product shot, but do you know what these is?

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Sequins Dolphin Shorts: $19.80

Yes, they’re sequins dolphin shorts, AKA sequins running shorts, AKA the worst idea in the history of ideas about what to put between your thighs since Charlie Sheen.

Those are a fire waiting to happen and a chafing the wearer will not soon forget.

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Sequin Jogging Shorts: $17.80

These actually have the audacity to include the word, “jogging” in the name of the product. Because putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to increase physical fitness lends itself so well to glamour.

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Sequins Leopard Shorts: $17.80

According to the product description, these too were designed to break a sweat in. Although I suspect the only women wearing these are less concerned with working out than they are with simply being seen.

All these shorts are the clothing equivalent of those women who come into the gym with full make up on, hair down and freshly blow dried, who proceed to stretch, get water and make sexualized grunting noises on a few weight machines.

In a word: useless. I could go on, but i have to stop. The simple effing fact there is more than one example of bedazzled exercise gear for sale at Forever 21 right now is too much to handle.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Forever 21 Puts Religion & Hypocrisy Up Front

It’s often said we women are full of contradictions. We can be both Madonna and whore, child and woman, protector and wrathful harbinger of war. Some of us are just crazier than a shit house rat, but most of us are just exercising the right to express ourselves. And although the freedom to change your mind is a precious one worth fighting for, being a hypocrite does not fall under the same righteous protection.

Draped Cross Tee: $14.80

This is where my problem with Forever 21′s religious leanings come into major play. With the Christmas season officially here and the holy holiday fast approaching, Forever 21 has released a brand new batch of religious tees. The family-owned retailer’s religious leanings have been well documented and I have taken issue with their scripture on shirts and messages sent personally from God via burnout tee, but this fresh crop of tops jumped out at me because most of them were either styled with or sold right next to some of Forever 21′s skantiest club wear, on full display for anyone from club rats and good Christian girls to purchase and wear to the New Year parties.

Now, I know people say women can wear whatever they want. Yes, they can.

And just because you’re dressed like a tarted up street walker on Saturday night and grind on a stranger’s bulge to song lyrics that say “you’s a sexy bitch” and “nothing you could compare to your neighborhood hoe” (keep in mind, he’s trying to be respectful here), doesn’t mean you can’t come into church on Sunday morning and sing with the choir about the goodness of the Lord. You can do that, yes.

You can say you follow the holy tenants of the good book and say you abide by its rules and say you have Christ in your heart while you peddle sequin crop tops sold in photos by barely legal looking models. You can say you do all those things. But saying it and not living it also makes you a hypocrite. And saying it and making a hefty profit from it, makes you something worse.

Let’s take a look at some of Forever 21′s most recent religious fashion offerings and put them into a little context.

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Do Unto Others Burnout Top: $15.80

OR just

Do What you Want Top: $15.90

It is often said, it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

Blessed Tee: $15.80

So why don’t you turn around and give us all a little sugar?

Sugar Knit Boyshort: $3.80

Truth Fringed Tee: $17.80

Unless you don’t want it to.

Cropped Fake Tee: $17.80

Be a saint…

Saint Fringe Tee: $15.80

OR be a sparkle tube top sinner.

Crop Sequin Tube Top: $9.80

Sequins Strapless Bandeau: $8.80

Say, “Amen.”

Amen Lace Tee: $14.80

Then show a little skin.

Pray.

Pray Lace Tee: $15.80

Then strap on your sequin booty shorts and party!

Party Girl Crop Tee: $14.80

The only religious themed top I found at Forever 21 which seemed to jive nicely with the rest of the clothes on their site was this eat, drink and be merry top.

Eat Drink Be Merry Tee: $15.80

I’m not a person who condones hypocrisy, but this is a message I can really get behind.

Forever 21, Merry Christmas.

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10 Must Haves for Thanksgiving Feasting

Last week I wrote a piece for The Frisky on how to stay sexy even while you stuff your face on Thanksgiving that highlighted some tried and true tricks of wardrobe and beauty.

Since Thanksgiving and its glorious second, third and fourth helpings of pie, potatoes and family drama are just a day away, this happy post is dedicated to getting your style ready for feasting.

Wool Blend Longline Poncho: $37.80

Pass that pudding! It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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Wonderful Wednesday: Holiday Party Outfits

My favorite thing about holiday parties is the sequins. It’s as if for a few days between Thanksgiving and January 1, the rules of the world are turned topsy-twinkly and everything, including wardrobes, seem to project a little extra shimmer.

Let us pay homage to the most wonderful time of the year with a post that’s all about holiday sparkle.

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Sequin Sweetheart Dress: $27.80

Come join the party. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

Continue reading

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WTFancy Shoulder Pads

When it comes to the finest in armpit bling, nobody does it better than Forever 21.

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Sequins Pearl Knit Sweater: $32.80

For when you absolutely have to be super fabulous but only on the shoulders.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Wonderful Wednesday: It’s the Little Things

I’m the kind of gal who obsesses over details, and just like any other borderline debilitating disorder, this has been and remains to be both a gift and a curse. Now, there’s some details I just can’t abide by (rosettes, I’m snarling at you) and you’ve all read me rail against unnecessary ruffles and fringe. But sometimes bad details can make for great style.

Rosette Mesh Dress: $22.80

Get ready to sweat the small stuff.

It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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Sequin Jacket with Hood

Ugh. It’s like the mutant spawn of one of Michael Jackson’s gloves.

Sequin Jacket with Hood: $32.80

The next leap in looking creepy and insane at your molestation trial has arrived. For once I think the styling choice in this photo is entirely appropriate. What better way to show people you’re a normal adult, worthy of their trust, who isn’t a sex pervert than to strap some awkwardly baggy pleather shorts to your almost non-existent rump for when you waltz into your court date four hours late?

If you like this hoodie, fine, as always, wear it. Be my guest.

Just don’t blame me when the dead and Paula Abdul rise around you and start forcing you to participate in intricately choreographed dance numbers.

Forever 21,

WTF?

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