Forever 21, WTF?
This moment is now and one amongst you must rise to this challenge.
I’m sure you all are well aware of the various memes known as Advice Animals. Basic photos of animals with colored backgrounds and customizable, hysterical captions to accompany them, such as…
Time of the Month Tiger
You have ALL now been officially charged with the task, nay, the DUTY of coming up with awesome captions for the newest animal to join in the immortal ranks of those who give terrible advice.
Cozy Wolf Top: $17.80
I’ll get you started.
Forever 21: Makes Awful Top, Top Becomes Meme.
Last week I wrote a piece for The Frisky on how to stay sexy even while you stuff your face on Thanksgiving that highlighted some tried and true tricks of wardrobe and beauty.
Since Thanksgiving and its glorious second, third and fourth helpings of pie, potatoes and family drama are just a day away, this happy post is dedicated to getting your style ready for feasting.
Wool Blend Longline Poncho: $37.80
Pass that pudding! It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading
It’s a hard fact of life that there are some things just too hot, too hilarious, too sexy and too plain WTF for social networks like Facebook and Twitter.
A few weeks ago when Facebook censored my camel toe crotch shots from Forever 21, it dawned on me that banter and bullshitting this out of control needs a private forum.
THUS, I’ve partnered with Intersect.com to bring you the Members only world of WTForever 21!
EXCLUSIVE GIVEAWAY ON INTERSECT.COM
And because I like to reward naughty behavior (take THAT, Santa), I’m also hosting an exclusive giveaway on Intersect.com for Members only.
Here’s the free swag up for grabs!
The deadline for entries on this members only free giveaway is 12am EST on Friday, December 9.
I look forward to seeing you in the Members only WTForever 21 community on Intersect.com. I’ll be sharing my interactive timeline and map of both reader WTF and my own pics, videos and posts deemed too awesome for the the non-private world.
It’s kind of like those Jerry Springer tapes they sell that are Too Hot for TV and feature a lot of “You ARE the father” break dancing sessions, followed by ladies ripping off each other’s earrings and weaves.
But only free and much, much funnier.
GOOD LUCK IN THE GIVEAWAY, LOVELIES!
Classic Tee with Scarf: $18.90
It’s a slim cut tee with a skinny scarf ATTACHED to it. They might as well call it the “I’m sure you’ve never heard of this band I love. They’re pretty obscure” tee.
All that’s missing now is a pair of dick strangling jeans and a Spock haircut, along with a sleeve of tattoos that hold absolutely no significance to you what so ever. Basically, this tee is the main ingredient in the Privileged Hipster emergency kit.
I’ll bet that scarf only drinks fair trade coffee, too.
Forever 21, Corporations like you are the REAL Enemy, Man. You Don’t Even Know. Let’s Meet Up at Starbucks and Talk About it While we Smoke Parliament Cigarettes.
Although it might look easy to all you wonderful WTFers out there in Interweb land, diving into the daily pit of “excuse me, for reals, you did NOT just try to charge people $32.90 for that” which is Forever 21′s inventory is no simple task.
It takes patience, nimble fingers, sheer will and determination to cull the craziest shit from the mega-retailer’s online catalog. And just like on their physical stores, things online at Forever 21 are usually a scattered mess.
But not today.
BEHOLD – The Exotic Folk selection.
Beads, faux fur, fringe, looped yarn – all collected into one section with a floppy pink hat wearing mascot to guide your way. It’s like an all you can guffaw buffet up in here.
Bead Trim Faux Fur Vest: $27.80
Haven’t seen a bugle bead in a long while, but damned if it isn’t taking center stage right in front of my face in the year 2011. This is what is known as Sherpa Chic. You could scale a mountain with the intent of yodeling or just use it to springboard your career as a Ricola commercial extra. Lots of choices with this one.
Suede Fringe Jacket: $59.80
Okay, before you even CONSIDER purchasing this, let me just ask you to think about your life choices for a second and whether you want everyone calling you Big Bird’s Lesbian Biker Sister. And have you heard the sound heavy, suede fringe makes when it hits other heavy materials? It’s like a stampede of miniature horses are following you around at all times. Madness.
Fringe Lace Poncho: $19.80
NOPE. Absolutely not. I am having none of this. I look at this and I say, “No, thank you. I will have none.”
Forever 21, WTFolk?
There’s something about the Fall and Winter seasons that makes you wanna bake an apple, drink some warm cider and snuggle up with a fluffy blanket on the couch to watch the leaves and rain fall and think about where your life is going while Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” plays softly in the background.
But just because you’re drinking spiced apple juice and bumming it around the house, doesn’t mean you have to look like a bridge troll while doing it. In celebration of the gently, crisp breeze and lovely fresh weather to come this Fall, let’s take a look at some of the Forever 21′s affordable finds that’ll keep us all snug as a bug in a ploly-blend rug while still maintaining our feminine mystique.
Checkered Woven Shirt: $14.80
Get your snuggle on. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.
Combination Hood Scarf: $18.80
This scarf hoodie combo was originally compared on WTForever 21 to James Earl Jones’ ceremonial head piece as seen here.
The resemblance is quite striking.
Now, despite this thing looking like Thulsa Doom’s finest evening wear and despite the print looking like a Cosby sweater took a dump all over it, the combo hood and scarf must have been a good seller because Forever 21 has seen fit to up the price from $14.80 last November to $18.80 this October.
Or maybe by November it was just already on sale.
Forever 21, WTF?
What? What’s that you’re saying? SLOW DOWN, I can’t understand you over the full body, heaving sobs!
Oh. OHHH. You didn’t get what you wanted from the Missoni for Target collection? You got to Target yesterday morning specifically FOR the Missoni for Target collection at 6am only to watch helplessly as a frenzy of over-caffeinated women tore ass across the store, leaving with shopping carts piled high with two of everything, like some kind of crazy Zig Zag printed Noah’s Ark?
Well, don’t be sad! Forever 21 has got your back with their OWN (albeit completely unsanctioned) Missoni-esque designs!
Zig Zag Dress: $22.80
Click away from that eBay listing, honey.
It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading