This Wonderful Wednesday is dedicated to pieces with the rosey and red colors that match fiery, Mexican hearts around the globe and all the people who will become enchilé from the fiery Mexican food to be consumed this Cinco de Mayo.
Charo y Rick Salvador
Viva Mexico, Putas.
It’s Wonderful Wednesday.
As a special treat for Valentine’s Day shoppers, Forever 21 has rolled out a list of gifts personally picked by Cupid, chief among them being sticks of sexual dynamite like this doozy.
Poisoned Love Fringe Top: $14.80
Sometimes Forever 21′s picks are way off the mark, but I have to give it to them this year. A top like that is sure to make the lampshade of your dreams go ga-ga!
What’s that you say? You mean to tell me you didn’t plan to spend this Valentine’s Day cooking a sumptuous meal for, romancing, reading poetry to and then subsequently banging the shit out of a lampshade by candlelight?
You wanted to attracted a human BEING with this top?
Fine. More for me then.
Forever 21, Furniture Matchmaker.
Valentine’s Day outfit.
You are doing it.
You are doing it all wrong.
Forever 21, WTF?
We all know the 80′s movie moment. When the here to fore “awkward” and “ugly” girl comes down the stairs or makes her dramatic entrance at the prom or peaks around the kitchen door corner to reveal herself, reincarnated by sassy black friend or sheer determination of will, to now be a “hottie.”
Asymmetrical Dress with Mesh Panels: $19.80
This dress is the epitome of that moment.
Inexplicably predictable, totally unbelievable, a cheap ploy for audience attention, awkward as all Heidi Montag and just transparent enough to be vulgar.
This is what you call jumping the clothing shark. Maybe I should have posted this as a costume because if you tease your hair, throw on some ripped pantyhose, red lipstick and fake blood you could easily be an anonymous Patrick Bateman victim from “American Psycho.”
Get what now?
A job having my g-string plugged with sweaty dollar bills or a communicable disease? I spied this selection of busted ass stripper heels on the top floor of a Forever 21. Most of them were soiled in some fashion, and all of them looked as if they had been worn. To the club. Many times. Until closing.
Check out these gems. Sky-high, red feathered shoes, ripe for the picking. You’d have to be a fool or someone who doesn’t like getting a stranger’s foot crust on you not to buy these!
And these! Electric blue and heavy on attitude.
It was hard to tell just by looking at them, but I am guessing these shoes may have been the shoes below at some point in history.
Suedette High Cone Heels: $22.80
The years, they have not been kind.
Forever 21, WTF?