Tag Archives: plus size

Colorblocked Shag Vest

You know, I can’t really be mad at this.

Colorblocked Shag Vest: $29.80

At least this piece is functional.

Although, I’m not sure I want my clothes to be able to function as a bath mat.

And not a nice bath mat, either. It’s the kind you see laying on top of a mound of juicy trash in a back alley.

Or the one you discover in a random aisle at Ross Dress for Less that looks like every customer in the store was wearing sandals on a hot day and ran their bare feet across it.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Fifty Shades of Grey Cameltoe

This is a damn travesty.

Metallic Leggings: $13.80

What the utter fuck? It looks like she didn’t even put these on by herself.

It looks like the torso of a chubby child who was jerked into a pair of tight ass leggings and then made to pose in an awkward family photo.

No shape to it. Just thigh meats and lopsided upper pussy fluff . I can’t imagine anything LESS flattering.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Unwanted Kisses

You know what I like to do when I’m a cartoon white lady and am also kissing someone on a t-shirt?

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Marvel Heroes Top: $15.80

Look terrified and CRY.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Ombre Fringe Slub Top

When is this going to stop happening?

Ombre Fringe Slub Top: $17.80

When are these sadists going to stop doing this to breasts?

Who, besides people with a strangely specific fetish for aging horse manes draped over lady lumps, is this appealing to?

It’s like a nipple car wash that doesn’t actually wash nipples or cars and just causes confusion.

It looks like she has one of Nicki Minaj’s wigs draped over her tits.

Oh yeah. That looks normal.

Forever 21, WTF?

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We Didn’t Start the Fire

I know it’s hard to see in this product shot, but do you know what these is?

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Sequins Dolphin Shorts: $19.80

Yes, they’re sequins dolphin shorts, AKA sequins running shorts, AKA the worst idea in the history of ideas about what to put between your thighs since Charlie Sheen.

Those are a fire waiting to happen and a chafing the wearer will not soon forget.

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Sequin Jogging Shorts: $17.80

These actually have the audacity to include the word, “jogging” in the name of the product. Because putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to increase physical fitness lends itself so well to glamour.

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Sequins Leopard Shorts: $17.80

According to the product description, these too were designed to break a sweat in. Although I suspect the only women wearing these are less concerned with working out than they are with simply being seen.

All these shorts are the clothing equivalent of those women who come into the gym with full make up on, hair down and freshly blow dried, who proceed to stretch, get water and make sexualized grunting noises on a few weight machines.

In a word: useless. I could go on, but i have to stop. The simple effing fact there is more than one example of bedazzled exercise gear for sale at Forever 21 right now is too much to handle.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Plus-Size Problems

It’s been too long since we took a look at the torture Forever 21 is trying to inflict on big girl bodies across the globe and what better way to kick off the weekend than to re-ignite the debate about whether plus-size ladies should ever wear leopard print leggings.

Shall we¬†delve¬†deeper into the fanciful world of Forever 21′s XXL collection?

Sleek Leopard Leggings: $15.80

LET’S SHALL.

Beat as One Top: $13.80

The cropping on this one is rather unfortunate.

Capri Harem Pants: $17.80

I’m going to tell you something and you’re not going to like it.

Those “capri harem pants” you’re doing that sassy little pose in? Those pants that look to be cutting off your circulation at the waist and ankle, resulting in a build up of flesh right around where your ass should be?

Those is sweatpants, boo. Sweatpants pretending to be capri pants, no less. I guess at least when you’re sweating it out at the club you’ll be appropriately dressed.

Before I even tell you what this is, let’s play a little guessing game to see if you can figure it out just by the photo.

Is it a hair tie meant to accent your Black Swan costume this year?

Is it a church lady hat?

Is it a cat toy?

All wrong.

Feather Front Stretch Belt: $5.80

It’s a belt. Because that’s just what every woman wants. A mess of feathers hovering above her lady parts like a black vulture anus.

Forever 21, WTF?

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WTFringe Plus-Size Pants of Satan

As most of you know by now, I’m not exactly the most religious person. But, at times likes these, when faced with the sheer level of WTFness displayed below, I can not help but be consumed with the idea that, yes, the Devil exists and he is designing plus-size clothes for Forever 21.

Fringe Trim Leggings: $19.80

Sweet Lord, swing low and see me through this.

Get thee behind me, FRINGE!

The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing the world fringe is ever ok.

Forever 21, And What begat The. And The begat Fuck.

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Jail House Crock

Elvis is spinning in his grave.

Sleeveless Striped Romper: $22.80

This woman was booked on charges on Excessive Camel Toe and convicted of Wearing What Looks Like Old Timey Jail Pajamas in the Third Degree.

The papers called it a “crime of fashion.”

Forever 21, WTF?

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