Scarf Print Contrast Shirt: $24.80
The very essence of your grandmother, distilled into a shirt.
This shirt keeps the plastic on its furniture.
This shirt has a room full of antique dolls.
This shirt pinches your cheeks with its paper thin, bony fingers and then gives you stale Werther’s Originals as a reward.
This shirt has one of those tubs with a door that you walk into.
It remembers when you were just THIS tall and it doesn’t understand how to use the internet.
Forever 21, WTF?
There’s a woman in Los Angeles who, come to think of it, actually might just be a very convincing tranny. She dresses in all purple and tours the thrift shop scene. Sky high purple bee hive wigs, platform purple heels that enhance her already imposing six foot plus frame. Everywhere she went she stood out like a glamorous bruise.
I always wondered where she came from and when she started wearing purple. Do you wake up one day and, being the impulsive, brave and brash tranny fantasy you are, decide you’ll only wear one color for the rest of your life? Or do you start off alternating outfits comprised of just one color (green, gold, lush ruby red), then eventually settle on your favorite?
If that’s the case, this thing below is definitely a gateway garment to the single color lifestyle.
Cheetah Lined Faux Fur Vest: $37.80
All the tranny mega hits are there. High impact color. Vaguely 70′s vibe. Faux Fur. The model even looks decidedly dangerous in this vest, like she might start lip-syncing to “It’s Raining Men” without warning or claw another bitches eyes out with a surprise Elvira manicure. Even though I know this vest is destined for the bargain bin, there’s something absurdly attractive about it.
I don’t know. Maybe I just hate faux fur so much my judgement has been clouded. Maybe my eyes are stunned by the brazen display of furry, high impact prison suit orange. And maybe, just maybe, I secretly wish there were more men who are woman wearing purple in the world.
Forever 21, WTF?