Tag Archives: leopard print

Reader WTF: Leopard Panel Maxi Skirt

Every so often, a brave reader takes it upon themselves to  step into the polyester trenches of Forever 21 and blast their body with tacky shit like a Jersey Shore reject in a tanning booth.

Leopard Panel Maxi Skirt: $19.80

Today, Melissa and Lindsey took the Leopard Panel challenge. The results? Ever so fucking sweet.

“My best friend and I are avid readers of WTForever21.com and honestly we constantly talk about how we’re surprised we didn’t create this website first haha…so as we were browsing through our local Forever21 in Tallahassee today, we came across this little gem and snapped a pic of my friend Melissa (who quickly slipped it on over her pants to avoid the 25-person long line for the fitting room) wearing it. It’s zoo-a-lisciously dreadful. Enjoy.”

Enjoy, indeed, my friends.

Forever 21, GTL (Gym, Tan Leopard Print).

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Wild Leopard Print Shift Dress

In all my time as a connoisseur of WTF

Wild Leopard Print Shirt Dress: $19.80

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a sad faux leopard skin sheet.

Just look at it…

Probably torn from its warm place a semi permanent fixture in Katt Williams’ bedroom, it seems almost depressed to be dangling from the bony frame of this model.

Mangled by strange zipper placement.

Humiliating shapelessness.

Someone should turn it into a set of small throw pillow covers, toss them in the green room of an Ed Hardy themed night club and end this macabre charade.

Forever 21, You’re so Cruel…

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Affordable Fancy Shoes

Buy the spots of the Great Leopard King Kentay, what do I behold here?!

20111211-125830.jpg

$8.50? $8.50 and up? They’re only going to charge me a starting price of $8.50 to look this stupid from the ankles down?

How DO they stay in business?

Forever 21, Putting Out the Bargain Vibe. Hard.

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Thank You for Being a WTF

Somehow I don’t think the designer’s desired effect was achieved here.

Cowl Neck Leopard Dress: $22.80

Unless they MEANT for the model to look like a sexed up Betty White from the neck down.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Puss on Boots

LEOPARD PRINT.

It’s been the subject of much debate around these parts, leopard print. My feelings stand with it being pretty much a wardrobe essential for the fiestier fashionista and then only in moderation. A strappy heel there, a thin belt here, and you can never go wrong with a leopard print lined trench. In essence, leopard print is great in small quantities, as an accent or accessory. Lingerie is also a good forum for leopard print. It should be a saucy surprise, there to put a feline grin on the face of the wearer and add an element of sexy playfulness to a wardrobe.

Leopard Suedette Booties: $25.80

These booties do NONE of those things.

Beside being a key costume piece in the All Pimp production of Rodin Hood, these booties serve no purpose as a wearable item. If your regular everyday outfits do not include a royal purple crushed velvet cape and matching wide brim hat, I can not help you here.

Forever 21, WTF?

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The 5 Things that Ruin an Affordable Find

We’ve all known the pain. The unadulterated let down festival that is seeing an awesome dress, sweater, bottom, top, etc. beckoning to us from the rack. It whispers to you, “Buy me. Buy me and your life will be DOPE.” So you go to it, speed walking across the floor, holding your anticipation in like a person waiting to hear the last matching number of a lotto ticket. Trembling, you reach your goal and gingerly remove the item from the rack only to discover the awful truth. Your dream garment, the article of clothing that was going to change your life, is soiled. SOILED with a deal breaker.

It could be almost anything. The Affordable Find Dealbreaker is completely subjective. It could be rosettes. It could be ruffles, or a hideous print or a minor detail which just completely throws off the entire thing. Whatever it is, it’s a fuck damn bush league cluster eff and it can ruin your whole afternoon.

Here are my personal top 5 deal breakers in affordable fashion finds.

1. Unecessary and Ugly Details

Graphic Crop Top: $9.90

Oh, hey, look. This top looks kind of cool. Just basic, really. Wait a minute … is that …

Yep. Yeah. It’s a giant eagle face. Well, it’s not THAT bad …

Seriously? Seriously crop top? Side boob action? No chance.

2. Too much Skank

Sequins Dress: $20.99

Okay, okay. Little Black Dress. Looks cute enough. Some nice details on it. Let’s just get a better look here…

Holy ovaries, that’s short! If it wasn’t for the tiny shadow and black void of Spanx we could probably get a good eye full of camel toe right now. And that’s when she’s standing still. Imagine teetering around on heels wearing that shirt masquerading as a dress. An innocent walk to the car could turn into a full blown booty show in mere moments.

3. Sneaky Romper

Peacock Feather Romper: $19.80

Ohh! What a sweet little summer dress. I hope they have one left in my size!

WAIT…

WTF IS THIS? SHORTS?!?!?

This is the WORST. Rompers are the ninjas of the fashion world. I’ve gotten INTO the DRESSING room with a romper in my midst and not known it until I was half naked and ready to put the thing on.

4. Pukey Print

Bow Skirt: $15.80

Hmm.. kind of cute. I love pleats. It’s very pretty girl on summer vacay at the cape. But I’ve been burned before. Let’s get in there for a closer look.

Leopard. Print. Bows.

SHIT.

5. RUFFLES

Ruffled Shirt Dress w/ Belt: $24.80

Poseidon’s trident, look at that mess! Ruffle on ruffle action at it’s most natty and hardcore! She looks like Oscar the Grouch’s bottom bitch. I half expect the next product shot to be of her poking her head out of a trash can having a surly interaction with a gigantic yellow bird costume.

Forever 21, You… What Have you DONE?

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Woven WTF

*Sigh*

Leopard Woven Pants: $24.80

It’s Sunday, so I am just going to leave this here for us all to think about.

Consider the print, the cut, the ankles and the pairing of the shoes.

And finally …

Consider the shame.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Loopy Leopard Print

Some people can’t stand racists, their blood bubbling up to an uneven and dangerous boil at the mere hint of a bigoted slur. Others get their dander up by listening to someone diss their favorite band or book or actor. And some people fly straight into a giant huff over which politician said what lie and what time to what person. Everyone has their limits.

My limit is leopard print, and damned if this morning I did not fully reach that shit.

Textured Leopard Cardigan: $29.80

Besides looking like something Lindsay Lohan might wear to her next court date (and ultimately end up putting into heavy rotation at her final job as a crack-addled, Vegas street walker – seriously, did you guys SEE the photos of her and her mother getting ready for Kim Kardashian’s wedding? The woman could barely STAND. She had to be holding on to something in every photo. I get wanting to be bombed for Kim Kardashian’s wedding, but come on now. Every time I see LiLo I feel like I’m watching someone slowly go through the process of becoming a zombie. Soon she’ll be lunging for the necks of DJs and be photographed dragging a wonky leg, moaning in the street), this cardigan is just one in a wide variety of brazen leopard print items.

I’d really like to know where Forever 21 gets the big ol’ jangly balls to put leopard print on every other item. Pissing me RIGHT off.

This cardigan looks like it’s made from the hairballs of a leopard plushie come to life.  The only people sick enough to wear this thing are going to be Furries who are just coming out of the kennel and other maladjusted adults who should and do know better but just don’t give a shit anymore.

Or drag queens. In which case, I am all for it.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Le Costume Post: Part 1

CATS.

They’re what drives the Internet, what makes it, and keeps us yearning, churning, day after day, distracting us from our humdrum little lives. They get billions of hits and appeal to everyone from the tiniest tot to the oldest codger. They’re watching you from the ceiling. They’re in your computer eating your interwebs. And they’re CONSTANTLY asking for cheeseburgers.

They’re also apparently what makes us strap on tits-to-toe stretchy, leopard print lace jogging suits and roll around on the floor for 15 minutes.

Lace Leopard Jacket: $19.80

Lace Leopard Leggings: $13.80

I know this looks bad, but hear me out – I have absolutely no good explanation for this scene.

It started out innocently enough with a Redbook article from 1977 that listed “18 Ways to Feel Prettier – Right Now!”  One of which was a suggestion to unleash your animal instincts by working in a sassy splash of animal print in your everyday wardrobe. Animal print? Sassy? Everyday? Wardrobe? The hunt was on. And as with most trends, I think I took it a little too far.

So, okay, it’s not so much a splash as it is a big ol’ tidal wave of WTF, but when I saw the leggings and matching jacket in the Forever 21 store tonight I gasped. These twins of synthetic wonder were just what I needed to spice things up around the old homestead. Or the laundry mat. Or the post office. Or at my boyfriend’s place of business. Where ever. And at the very least, they could be reused in October as a last minute cat costume of some kind. All I need is the ears and tail and no one has to know I wore this to run errands at Safeway two days prior.

It’s sheer, it’s probably HIGHLY flammable and it illicits the wrong kind of attention in a Safeway parking lot, but, damnit, I have to admit, it was fun to wear, and for a cheapo, slutty Halloween costume on the fly, it ain’t too shabby. I still don’t know why Forever 21 puts what is clearly meant to be worn as a Halloween costume or outfit for a Purim parade in their normal rotation of street wear. I suppose some mysteries, like LOLcats and women who wear head-to-toe leopard print, were never meant to be solved.

Forever 21, I Can Has Cheezburger?

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Too Young for Harem Pants?

 It’s an epidemic sweeping the nation and it could be affecting your child, your family and your pocket book. Behavior so dangerous, so insidious, you probably won’t even notice your daughter is engaging in it – that is, until it’s too late. I’m writing of course … about Harem Pants.

Leopard Print Pants: $12.90

These Harem Pants, disguised cunningly as “lightweight woven pants” featuring “ruching” at the “side seams,” recently “popped up” in the “Forever 21 girls” section of “Forever21.com”

That’s right, you bunch of fancy ass bitches.

These are Harem Pants FOR PRE-TEENS.

It’s not enough that so many fabulous and fashionable women all over the globe have been taken in and brainwashed by the designer elite to think Harem Pants are socially acceptable and all right to wear in public areas. Now they’re trying to corrupt our CHILDREN?

What’s next for 9-year-old girls? A future where they slap on sweatpants jeans, lamé leopard print skirts and whatever the balls these are for their play dates?

YES.

Unless we do something.

Just as you inoculate your kids against illnesses like chicken pox, you can help  to immunize them against Harem Pant use by giving them the facts now. Talk to your girls about Harem Pants. Shit, talk to ALL girls about Harem Pants. Stop them in the streets if you have to – this can not happen.

Forever 21, Harem Pant Pushers.

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