Tag Archives: jumper

STOP – Break it Down!

Business time on the top.

Hammer time on the bottom.

Peaked Lapel Sleeveless Jumpsuit: $34.80

Forever 21, WTF?

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Recession Proof

Every time I turn on the news the talking, wooden heads always say the recession is in decline and after what I saw in a Pasadena Forever 21 a few nights ago I now believe.

20111122-090610.jpg

Let’s first move past the fact she looks like she’s taking a dump on the merchandise table and talk about what this is exactly.

20111122-090754.jpg

Judging from the discrete mob of Hello Kitty pattern on the fabric, I’m guessing this adult sized onesie is from the new Hello Kitty collection at Forever 21, although I could not find it online. And brace yourselves because I also don’t know how much it costs. And hold on to your effing titties because I don’t know how much it costs because it was SOLD OUT at the store.

It sold out so fast, none of the sales associates I asked (Oh and I ASKED. Disbelieving and wide eyed, I asked) could tell me what the price was.

If people are really rushing into Forever 21 and buying out something as nightmarish as the boxes and boxes of adult sized Hello Kitty onesies this store had in stock, advertised by a mannequin who looks like she should be reading the latest issue of Marie Clare and spraying Lysol in the air around her to hide the smell of her shameful deuce, the recession MUST be over.

Forever 21, I Don’t Even Blame you for This.

People Who Purchased this Thing, WTF?

10 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Wonderful Wednesday: Political Edition

Unless you’ve been living under a large rock for the past few months, you’ve probably heard some kind of news on the Republican presidential candidates. (Honestly, even if you did live under a rock you’ve probably heard some news about it – what kind of rock doesn’t have Internet access now a days?)

As the 2012 elections draw near and candidates begin to release their ads, both attack and otherwise, I have a feeling we’ll all be treated to a parade of corporately funded WTF the likes of which our airwaves and internets have scarcely seen.

Exhibit A: Herman Cain’s ad which was just dropped in my inbox by a friend.

I think YouTube commenter JohnVogel561 sums this up best, “… that smile at the end. Have you ever farted, and tried not to get caught, but the smell is so God Awful, that someone calls you out on it, and all you can do is smile, well that is what that last scene looks like.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking – Rachel, politics are boring. Rachel, what does this have to do with fashion? Rachel, Herman Cain looks like a broke ass, busted, creepier version of Samuel L. Jackson.

Yes, nothing and yes. But for the simple fact of this ad making me laugh until my ass literally fell off my body, I am dedicating this Wonderful Wednesday to the Republican candidates.

How am I dedicating it to them? By featuring items I think embody the spirit and persona of each candidate’s recent campaign ads.

Patchwork Denim Maxi: $24.80

 These pretty well sum up Herman Cain’s ad. At first glance, you THINK you know what it’s about. Fine, those are high waisted, booty destroying Mom Jeans. Fine. But then they start smoking a cigarette and you’re all like, “What? Is that a quilt-like swath of material coming out the crotch? Why would they do that with jeans?” And then you see them start smiling super slowly. And then you see that super slow smile turn into a creepy, Bond villain chuckle and it hits you.

Those aren’t jeans at all. It’s ugliest skirt you’ve ever seen. And it’s running for president.

You’re welcome, America. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

Continue reading

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

One Shoulder Rosette Jumper

So many things going wrong here.

Price: $29.80

Let’s just focus on one: rosettes, AKA the fastest way to stop a sane person from purchasing any clothing item. Listen, Forever 21, NO ONE LIKES ROSETTES.

NO ONE.

And even if they did, after one wash they just turn into droopy turds dangling from the garment in a most unsavory and unintended fashion.

And don’t even get me started on jumpers, let alone those of the single shouldered variety. Not only do you have to go through the bizarre exercise of getting damn near completely nude to take a piss, it’s also just ugly.

Forever 21, WTF?

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized