Fine. Go ahead. Accuse me of hippie bashing.
Colorful Rosette Headwrap: $6.80
But this headwrap looks like the calling card of a mother who lives in Berkeley and thinks she’s better than you because her baby doesn’t eat gluten.
Coloring on coloring. Layering on layering. Each fold more ridiculous than the next. I can see this headwrap judging me from the tofu everything section of Whole Foods and unsuccessfully trying to get to me eat quinoa candy or some other form of unpalatable mess “upcycled” into food. Then it’ll talk about the amazing benefits of Yoni massage (do NOT Google this at work. It will be THOROUGHLY NSFW) and how the vagina is a self-cleaning organ and how the hair on it is a sign of womanhood and how the headwrap doesn’t even taste the difference between tofurkey and the real thing and that, by the way, meat is murder.
And then I’ll reply, “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. I was eating a juicy steak covered in cream and waxing the hair off my Evil Vagina.”
Forever 21, WTF?