You know how when you see someone and they do something or wear something or say something SO EMBARRASSING for them YOU get embarrassed?
This collection of garments and accessories is like that feeling personified.
I can feel the tingle of shame rolling through my delighted body just looking at these.
Right. Because glitter is only worn by the upper crust. And I get that this is trying to be ironic. I also get that it’s fucking failing.
Like a Person who Just Discovered Memes Yesterday.
Forever 21, WTF?
You ever look at something, clothing trend or otherwise, and just know it’s going to be one of those things we all make fun of and regret 10 years from now?
Pretty sure these looks Forever 21 has put together to coincide with the California art and musical fest Coachella are 110% that.
It’s not that Forever 21′s stylists aren’t spot on about what kind of hipster madness gets thrown together for Coachella every year. The uber short-shorts, the flowy tops, the fringe, the neon, the pre-frayed everything. That’s all painfully accurate.
It’s just when I look at these I always imagine the same people wearing them today looking back on this decade and getting stuck in an infinite face palm loop.
So what do YOU think?
Will we regret these fashion decisions in our 40′s or will the “homeless looking yet perfectly manicured” style be remembered fondly?
Forever 21, This Really Isn’t About You.
Just exactly what type of head shape has this beanie (now on sale at about 50% off) been constructed for?
Pom-Pom Beanie: $3.99
What! Mr. President, pull yourself together, for Christ’s sake!
Take off that beanie! It’s not remotely historically accurate, it betrays your trademark look and, worst of all, there are ladies present!
I know you love high hats, but please.
Forever 21, Is Nothing Sacred?
Latino fancy hat and business casual dress chihuahua.
Sketched Chihuahua Heathered Sweatshirt: $17.80
Adorable contradictions – he is full of them!
His mustache – it sparkles!
His tie – muy sensible!
His hat? Que Rico. His gaze?
Forever 21, Que Paso, Chingado?
For most people the days right around the holidays mean eating good food, being with the ones they love and giving and getting great gifts. But for a select few who, together, make up a whole bunch this time of year, the days leading up to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years are filled with a little extra excitement and a whole lot more anxiety.
Ladies in long term relationships – brace yourselves. Engagement season has officially begun.
So in the spirit of this magical time of year, and also because I’d like to indulge in my own matrimonial fantasies, this Wonderful Wednesday is dedicated to all things wedding! Budget wedding at that!
Lace and Pleats Dress: $29.80
This is the most inexpensive alternative wedding dress I have ever come across.
With the sweet pleats and lace top, it’s perfect for a bride on a serious budget who is having a less than formal affair. If the black ribbon bothers you, snip it off and cover it up with a satin one of your color choice.
Say you do. You know you wanna. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.
Peekaboo Shoulder Dress: $16.90
Suplice Neckline Dress: $24.80
Forget the old clichés about bridesmaids dresses being ugly. These are your best friends! Put them in something chic, sexy and affordable they can wear again and again.
Glittered Flats: $16.80
Suedette Peeptoe Slingbacks: $24.80
Blinged out black flats for the reception and something blue in a sky high heel for the ceremony. If the wood grain on those sling backs bothers you, cover that part with some clear glue and cost the area in gold leaf or your choice of glitter. You could also paint over it with a high shine lacquer.
Graduated Tear drop Earrings: $3.80
Opaque Beaded Circle Earrings: $5.80
Love Trio Bangle Set: $6.80
Sparkle Woven Bracelet: $6.80
So many jewelry options under $10, so little time! The possibilities are practically endless, but I’d keep it simple as you can with muted colors and classic details.
Forever 21, Wonderful.
We’ve all seen the news reports. With the Occupy Wall St. movement breaking record highs of occupation on an almost daily basis and media outlets everywhere spilling over with headlines regarding the recent violence and police tension surrounding, it was only a matter of time before a big company stepped in and did something unselfish for the welfare of those protesters.
Who would have thought that company would be Forever 21.
In what I am going to wildly assume is a gesture of good faith and solidarity with the Occupy wall St. movement, Forever 21 has recently released a line of cold weather wear specially design and formulated to both serve and appeal to those courageous, tent dwelling individuals currently staring down the dark realization of the Winter cold.
Forever 21′s Occupy Wall St. Wear
Textured Rainbow Beanie: $12.80
Just because you’re facing the unpleasant proposition of spending hours in the cold chill of Manhattan’s nastier time of year, doesn’t mean you should let your fashion sense go out the window.
This extra warm beanie is as varied in colors as the movement itself and the tassels provide excellent facial coverage to prevent ice sickles from forming on your epic, post-graduate grown beard.
Yale Pom Pom Beanie: $9.80
This snuggly, wuggly school pride beanie is perfect for showing the world exactly which institution of higher learning robbed you of your financial peace of mind, ensuring you never get to retire and have to continue working well into your 70′s just for the health insurance. (Handwritten “I am the 99%” letter not included).
Geo Pattern Trapper Hat: $17.80
Like most trapper hats, this stylish and not at all ratty looking head covering serves more than one purpose.
Yes, it has the ability to keep your head warm to minimize the shivering of your body so you can hold those protest signs steady, but you can also turn it inside out and leave it on a stick in plain view to serve as a warming to squirrels to stay away from your camp site, lest they meet a similar fate as the rodent who gave it’s life for your head warmth.
Pom Pom Beanie: $7.90
Not only is this beanie affordable, it also features ample room for your white girl dreads as well as a hallowed out poof for storing rolling papers.
Forever 21, Fight the Power.
Let me tell you something about my fur hats.
They are as thick as weaves and they protect each other to the very end.
No, I’m not wearing She by Sheree, and you may think I look like a low down monkey wit’ a wig on, but I have ONE question for you.
Faux Fur Hat in Black: $12.80
Who gonna check me, Boo?
Knitted Trapper Hat: $12.80
Never has a marriage of acrylic, faux fur and polyester resulted in a union as extraordinary as this.
The fur is mashed up against the frontage of the hat with such finesse.
Not at all like it had been packed flat in plastic or combed upwards with a rough cat brush. Not at all like the beleaguered and abused backside of an Acapulco donkey or a swath of unkempt stage wig, mattered beyond repair from the level of abuse only community theater can provide.
EXPERTLY PLACED POM POM ENDS.
These are the things which result in exemplary examples of trapper hats, such as the one you see majestically laid out before you.
The pioneers and Davy Crockett himself have WEPT for trapper hats thus.
Forever 21, You Rugged Sonofabitch.