I think I’ve figured out why Forever 21 keeps pumping out these unspeakable WTFs.
Rhinestoned Iridescent Butterfly Necklace: $7.80
Embellished Tribal Clutch: $27.80
Boho Feather Earrings: $4.80
Floppy Hat with Flower: $12.80
Geometric Straw Cuff: $4.80
Faceted Clear Bracelet: $4.80
Contrast Spike Bracelet: $6.80
Forever 21, WTF?
Cool Bear Graphic Top: $15.90
Is that … Is that bear wearing a hippie beanie?
Is this the first bear ever to be admitted into Burning Man? Does this bear have a subscription to High Times? Is its name Journey? Does it shit in the woods and wipe its ass with an organic hay seed fed rabbit? Is it nicknamed “The Dude” ?
All tassels and Pom Pom toppers point to, “yes.”
Forever 21, WTF, man!
So, right off the bat, I think we can all agree this faux fur hat is the tits.
Faux Fur Hat: $12.80
Styles? They come in and out of fashion like a dick in a mouth. But THIS? This hat is the real deal. Or is it? Before we declare it to be the best hat ever, I think we should put it through the paces.
Let’s see how it looks on a pan of frying eggs.
What about on Nicolas Cage?
Top fucking notch.
I literally can not tell the difference between this hat and his actual hair. It is SEAMLESS.
Forever 21, Best Hat Ever.
Although it might look easy to all you wonderful WTFers out there in Interweb land, diving into the daily pit of “excuse me, for reals, you did NOT just try to charge people $32.90 for that” which is Forever 21′s inventory is no simple task.
It takes patience, nimble fingers, sheer will and determination to cull the craziest shit from the mega-retailer’s online catalog. And just like on their physical stores, things online at Forever 21 are usually a scattered mess.
But not today.
BEHOLD – The Exotic Folk selection.
Beads, faux fur, fringe, looped yarn – all collected into one section with a floppy pink hat wearing mascot to guide your way. It’s like an all you can guffaw buffet up in here.
Bead Trim Faux Fur Vest: $27.80
Haven’t seen a bugle bead in a long while, but damned if it isn’t taking center stage right in front of my face in the year 2011. This is what is known as Sherpa Chic. You could scale a mountain with the intent of yodeling or just use it to springboard your career as a Ricola commercial extra. Lots of choices with this one.
Suede Fringe Jacket: $59.80
Okay, before you even CONSIDER purchasing this, let me just ask you to think about your life choices for a second and whether you want everyone calling you Big Bird’s Lesbian Biker Sister. And have you heard the sound heavy, suede fringe makes when it hits other heavy materials? It’s like a stampede of miniature horses are following you around at all times. Madness.
Fringe Lace Poncho: $19.80
NOPE. Absolutely not. I am having none of this. I look at this and I say, “No, thank you. I will have none.”
Forever 21, WTFolk?