Tag Archives: feathers

Beaders: Beaded Alive

An estimated all of Forever 21 stores in the US are compulsive beaders.

Beaders collect and collect… beads, feathers and other junk.

20120217-153223.jpg

Embroidered Necklace: $7.80

And then they add them onto necklaces.

20120217-153454.jpg

Beaded Fringe Collar Necklace: $19.80

Forever 21 has had a close relationship with beads their entire life.

In the last few weeks, it’s gotten out of control.

20120217-153701.jpg

Tri-tone Fringe Necklace: $7.80

And now this sickness has spread.

20120217-153908.jpg

Beaded Fringe Suede Bag: $18.80

20120217-154243.jpg

Ancient Princess Earrings: $6.80

If these earrings aren’t an example of chronic bead abuse, I don’t know what is. Every time I walk into their accessories area I feel like I’m going to uncover a cat skeleton under all that plastic and fringe.

Forever 21, Please get the help you need.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Feathered Bib Bonanza

By the pubic feathers of Daffy Duck, what fresh fowl hell is this?

20120112-013542.jpg

Layered Feather Necklace: $12.80

Meanwhile, at the Forever 21 factories, their team of crack designers is hard at work.

20120112-014019.jpg

This necklace is the tangible, allergy inducing equivalent of a trend officially jumping the shark. This is literally just a bib of feathers. It looks like fetish wear for Cat Woman. In fact, if any of you try to defend this in the comments, I am going to ignore you and just assume you are indeed a cat or some other feline animal who has taught itself to use a computer or other communicative device.

Forever 21, I CAN HAZ YOO TOU STOPZZZ MEKKING THIS THINGS?

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

5 Trends from 2011 that Should Leave 2012 Alone

As far as exciting years go for fashion, 2011 was kind of a dud in the trends department.

When 2010, so pregnant with promise, broke its water and gave birth to 80′s harem pant jumpsuits, neon fucking everything, and borderline bigoted “Navajo” trends, it was like checking for all ten toes and fingers on a baby only to find gills, a cloven hoof and little spiked tail instead.

In the probably misguided hope that 2012 will fair better in the fashion department, here’s a list of 5 WTF Trends from 2011 that should be put down this year, in no particular order.

1. Half Sheer/Solid Skirts

20120106-122913.jpg

Sheer Peasant Skirt: $19.80

Apparently, 2011 was the year your vagina lost its beloved great aunt in a freak boating accident and went into mourning. My condolences.

I blame the rise in popularity of these Frankensteiny, faux Goth, coochie veils on fashion bloggers who went out and photographed themselves living their impossibly fabulous, seemingly jobless lives wearing them.

2. Feathered Jewelry

20120106-124158.jpg

Vibrant Feather Earrings: $4.80

EARRINGS. Not cat toys, but earrings.

Earrings.

20120106-124330.jpg

A cat toy.

20120106-124555.jpg

Honestly, if you wore this trend in 2011 and managed to not get scratched in the face by a cat, you must have Jedi-like reflexes. In which case, I don’t understand why you didn’t use The Force to discover just how bad you looked.

Search your feelings.

20120106-125211.jpg

You know it to be true.

3. Native and Navajo

20120106-125927.jpg

Suedette Fringe Arrowhead Top: $17.80

For once, Forever 21 was not the only repeat offender in this unflattering and politically incorrect trend. Native themed clothes and ceremonial medicine bags were trotted out on runways and on racks across the country in what felt like the fashion industries sincerest effort in tasteless irony.

I, for one, happen to think this was all just another ploy on the part of the shadowy and powerful Cat Illuminati to being fringe, yet another of their favorite playthings, back into the world of everyday wear.

5. Jumpsuits and Rompers

20120106-130659.jpg

Lily Flower Romper: $19.80

These one piece ass snacks that hold the wearer as a naked hostage when they pee we’re so popular in 2011 that Forever 21 gave them their own section in the online catalog.

Well, it was either the popularity of them or an influx of angry emails from people who kept running into them on the site thinking they were cute dresses and wanted them quarantined as a result.

5. Neon/80′s Revival

20120106-131325.jpg

Long Sleeve Lace Top: $11.80

Admittedly this was the least offensive of the 2011 trends for me but was the most pervasive at the beginning of the year due to the fact that the 80′s revival/neon trend has been persisting for a while.

As cute as this model is, wearing a lace electrical yellow top is not doing her any favors. She looks like she’s wearing Big Bird’s honeymoon lingerie.

Forever 21 and 2011, WTF?

11 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Wonderful Wednesday: Political Edition

Unless you’ve been living under a large rock for the past few months, you’ve probably heard some kind of news on the Republican presidential candidates. (Honestly, even if you did live under a rock you’ve probably heard some news about it – what kind of rock doesn’t have Internet access now a days?)

As the 2012 elections draw near and candidates begin to release their ads, both attack and otherwise, I have a feeling we’ll all be treated to a parade of corporately funded WTF the likes of which our airwaves and internets have scarcely seen.

Exhibit A: Herman Cain’s ad which was just dropped in my inbox by a friend.

I think YouTube commenter JohnVogel561 sums this up best, “… that smile at the end. Have you ever farted, and tried not to get caught, but the smell is so God Awful, that someone calls you out on it, and all you can do is smile, well that is what that last scene looks like.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking – Rachel, politics are boring. Rachel, what does this have to do with fashion? Rachel, Herman Cain looks like a broke ass, busted, creepier version of Samuel L. Jackson.

Yes, nothing and yes. But for the simple fact of this ad making me laugh until my ass literally fell off my body, I am dedicating this Wonderful Wednesday to the Republican candidates.

How am I dedicating it to them? By featuring items I think embody the spirit and persona of each candidate’s recent campaign ads.

Patchwork Denim Maxi: $24.80

 These pretty well sum up Herman Cain’s ad. At first glance, you THINK you know what it’s about. Fine, those are high waisted, booty destroying Mom Jeans. Fine. But then they start smoking a cigarette and you’re all like, “What? Is that a quilt-like swath of material coming out the crotch? Why would they do that with jeans?” And then you see them start smiling super slowly. And then you see that super slow smile turn into a creepy, Bond villain chuckle and it hits you.

Those aren’t jeans at all. It’s ugliest skirt you’ve ever seen. And it’s running for president.

You’re welcome, America. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

Continue reading

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Get It Now!

Get what now?

A job having my g-string plugged with sweaty dollar bills or a communicable disease? I spied this selection of busted ass stripper heels on the top floor of a Forever 21. Most of them were soiled in some fashion, and all of them looked as if they had been worn. To the club. Many times. Until closing.

Check out these gems. Sky-high, red feathered shoes, ripe for the picking. You’d have to be a fool or someone who doesn’t like getting a stranger’s foot crust on you not to buy these!

And these! Electric blue and heavy on attitude.

And dirt.

It was hard to tell just by looking at them, but I am guessing these shoes may have been the shoes below at some point in history.

Suedette High Cone Heels: $22.80

 The years, they have not been kind.

Forever 21, WTF?

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

WTFeathery Cape

Oh, this old thing?

Feather Cape with Brooch: $39.00

Just something I had laying around.

In case I attend a black tie gala or an orgy on Sesame Street.

I’d like to fit in.

Forever 21, WTF?

13 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Birds Of A Feather Headwrap

Damn.

This shit is so ridiculous they didn’t even DARE to have it featured on a model. Can you imagine the balls required to actually wear this thing and be photographed trying to keep a straight face, knowing your image, your mug, is going to be punctuated by a tuft of feathers that very closely resembles a discount cat toy?

Me effing either.

Price: $7.80

Forever 21, WTF?

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized