Tag Archives: elephant

Warm & Cozy

You’ve gotta hand it to Forever 21.

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$15.80

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$15.80

They really know how to make a quality elephant dick cozy.

No elephant dick is going cold with these suckers. And look at that soft, snug grip top. Those elephant shafts aren’t going to be shivering any time in the near future, I’ll tell you what.

But what of the nuts, you ask? Surely they wouldn’t neglect the warmth of smooth elephant balls?

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$8.80

Not a chance.

Forever 21, Your Obsession with Elephant Sex Organs is Unhealthy.

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The Melancholy Tale of the Bold Eagle

Proud Bold Eagle Ring, why do you weep?

Bold Eagle Ring: $3.80

What keeps you up nights, unable to sleep?

Is it the Rhinestone Peacock who glitters like a fairy?

Rhinestone Peacock Bracelet: $14.80

Or for the gay giraffe lovers, who still cannot marry?

Kissing Giraffe Bracelet: $10.80

Is it the taint biting panther that’s got you so down?

Panther Hinge Bracelet: $10.80

Is a psychotic elephant making you frown?

Safari Elephant Ring: $6.80

I know what it is! You’re going to be glad!

It’s the dead eyed horse! That’s what’s got you so mad!

Rhinestone Horse Ring: $5.80

Or maybe this panda is making you sad.

Rhinestone Panda Necklace: $5.80

A bird should fly high! Why ARE you so low?

With the rhinestone rabbit watching you …

Rhinestone Rabbit Ring: $3.80

the world may never know.

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