Tag Archives: Coat

Angry Out of Nowhere

Every once in a while something, usually an inanimate object like Christina Aguillera’s stapled-back double chin or a force of nature like a strong gust of wind to the face, makes me irrationally, instantly angry.

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Around this time of year, it’s my allergies. My itchy throat and mouth, sneeze all day, red, runny eye allergies. Although it’s a predictable event and even treatable enough, the symptoms still manage to elicit in me a strange desire to strangle unicorn ponies with my bare hands.

I flipping hate my allergies. I hate them so much I start to imagine them as the source of all my unrelated problems. Suddenly, everything from being woken up too early by the trash guys to a stubbed toe is somehow the fault of allergies.

“DAMN you, Allergies! You are to blame for this!”

That irrational, ridiculous rage can also be applied to clothes. For example, I fully believe this raglan sleeve style, two tone trench coat is the reason gas prices are so high right now.

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Belted Contrast Trench: $34.80

Seriously? How could something as ill-conceived as a bright white boxy trench coat with BASEBALL SLEEVES not have some effect on the fossil fuels global market? To think otherwise is madness.

Do not dispute this fact. My logic is sound as this jacket is hideous.

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Creamy white, double breasted logic.

Forever 21, What Have you DONE?

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Overpriced WTFurry Coat

What do you get when you cross discount coyote fur parcels with a coat that looks like it was first designed during a time when Michael Jackson was still black?

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Shagged Trim Leather Coat: $79.90

I don’t even know what you get, but apparently it’s priced at $79.90.

Even the model is like, WTF?

Forever 21 – $80? To look like Wile E. Coyote in drag? Bitch, you cray cray.

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