Tag Archives: cardigan

Wonderful Wednesday: Big Boobs Bonanza

I don’t know if you guys know this, and I don’t mean to brag, but I am hella stacked.

If someone were going to write my biography tomorrow, the title could easily be, “Big Titties: The Gift and the Curse.”

The gift, because yes, sometimes having an ample bust can be a blessing. Like if you need to get out of a traffic ticket. Or if your main goal in life is to have someone at some point make it rain on you or spray Andre all over your ass.

If you have big tatties, these are the avenues of glory which for you are wide open.

But bountiful breastisses can also be a burden, especially when it comes to dressing them.

Well, my chesty sisters, prepare to be set free.

This is Wonderful Wednesday.

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What to Wear When you Fall in Love with Channing Tatum

Sometimes the most obvious things in the world can be the most surprising. Like finding a quicker route to work by taking a wrong turn or learning that ratty old sweater you lounge around in at home is the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.

In this way, I guess I had every right to be surprised by the fact that a large majority of you enjoy the pouty lips, soulful eyes and perfectly sculpted abs of Channing Tatum, co-star to Rachel McAdams in this coming Valentine’s Day’s chick flick epic “The Vow.”

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In what is sure to be the first guilty pleasure pic of thousands of people in 2012, “The Vow” tells the based on a true story tale of a married couple whose deep and profound love is torn asunder by a case of amnesia. Rachel McAdams’ character awakes from a coma or, something equally soap operish, to discover the cut and beautiful, model turned actor Tatum is her husband.

She then inexplicably objects, speaking nonsense in the trailer like, “I don’t remember you” and “You are devilishly handsome and extremely physical fit. Back up off me!” Okay, maybe she doesn’t say that, but how she musters the gaul to do anything but rip her own clothes off at the news this god amongst men is her surprise husband is beyond me.

Thus, in the spirit of pleasant surprises and full on pleasures of the guilty variety, this Wonderful Wednesday is dedicated to capturing the style of the woman (albeit fictional) so appealing she caused Channing Tatum to full press court her (twice!) in hopes of winning her love.

Strap on your longing looks, ladies. This is Wonderful Wednesday.

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Cable Knit Boyfriend Cardigan: $19.80

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Wrap Cardigan: $32.80

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Toggle Closure Cardigan: $37.90

Theres something to be said for being comfortable making you feel more sexy. One of the most romantic days I’ve ever experienced was spent at home with my then boyfriend on a rainy day in LA while I was in my period. Both of us spent the entire time slubbing around in the toasty confines on his apartment, me bundled up in a long thrift store cable cardigan, a thin tee and yoga pants. He was never more eager to surf the crimson tide. I’m assuming Channing Tatum feels the same.

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Pom Pom Hat: $10.80

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Heart Trimmed Necklace: $4.80

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Faded Denim Shirt: $22.80

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Moto-Bomber Jacket: $16.99

Make sure when you put this outfit together you have twinkly, sparkly lights to halo your frame. That way when Channing Tatum somehow, against all odds, despite his strong jaw and no doubt firm, round rump, convinces you to fall in love with him again the moment will be all the more magical.

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V-neck Tee: $5.90

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Floral Cuffed Sleeve Top: $22.80

Wearing something with flowers is key to this moment in the seduction of you by Channing Tatum. Mainly because when he comes rushing into your art studio, or sculpting class, or cheese curdling factory or wherever the Hell they are, he will be subconsciously motivated to pollinate your flower as he takes you on the cool, stone floor.

Forever 21, Wonderful.

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Wonderful Wednesday: Holiday Party Outfits

My favorite thing about holiday parties is the sequins. It’s as if for a few days between Thanksgiving and January 1, the rules of the world are turned topsy-twinkly and everything, including wardrobes, seem to project a little extra shimmer.

Let us pay homage to the most wonderful time of the year with a post that’s all about holiday sparkle.

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Sequin Sweetheart Dress: $27.80

Come join the party. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

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Wonderful Wednesday: Cozy, Comfy & Cute

There’s something about the Fall and Winter seasons that makes you wanna bake an apple, drink some warm cider and snuggle up with a fluffy blanket on the couch to watch the leaves and rain fall and think about where your life is going while Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” plays softly in the background.

But just because you’re drinking spiced apple juice and bumming it around the house, doesn’t mean you have to look like a bridge troll while doing it. In celebration of the gently, crisp breeze and lovely fresh weather to come this Fall, let’s take a look at some of the Forever 21′s affordable finds that’ll keep us all snug as a bug in a ploly-blend rug while still maintaining our feminine mystique.

Checkered Woven Shirt: $14.80

Get your snuggle on. It’s Wonderful Wednesday.

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Dress Like There’s Nobody Watching

Well before the dawn of modern Hipsterdom, adventurous young men and women began flirting with the fashion line between counter culture trends and just plain looking like you got dressed in the damn dark. In the photo below (sent to me by the very Diva-licious Aldo of WhatHadHappa.com) a brave mannequin at the Forever 21 in Salinas, CA took the whole “mirrors or eyes or a sense of  complimentary colors and patterns are SO mainstream” look to a different level this weekend.

The hideousness of this ensemble is, I assume, without question, but there is one mystery still to be uncovered in this unfortunate photo (well, besides the obvious “Why would you ever do this?”).

Is that mannequin … or a MANnequin? As in, a statue with testosterone? As in, meant to be wearing male clothing? Our intrepid photographer tells us he spied this delight in the lady’s section but I am dubious. The legs are pin thin enough and the shoulders are far too broad for a Forever 21 women’s display.

What do you all think? Does this dude look like a lady or does this lady just look like a douche?

Forever 21, WTF?

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Loopy Leopard Print

Some people can’t stand racists, their blood bubbling up to an uneven and dangerous boil at the mere hint of a bigoted slur. Others get their dander up by listening to someone diss their favorite band or book or actor. And some people fly straight into a giant huff over which politician said what lie and what time to what person. Everyone has their limits.

My limit is leopard print, and damned if this morning I did not fully reach that shit.

Textured Leopard Cardigan: $29.80

Besides looking like something Lindsay Lohan might wear to her next court date (and ultimately end up putting into heavy rotation at her final job as a crack-addled, Vegas street walker – seriously, did you guys SEE the photos of her and her mother getting ready for Kim Kardashian’s wedding? The woman could barely STAND. She had to be holding on to something in every photo. I get wanting to be bombed for Kim Kardashian’s wedding, but come on now. Every time I see LiLo I feel like I’m watching someone slowly go through the process of becoming a zombie. Soon she’ll be lunging for the necks of DJs and be photographed dragging a wonky leg, moaning in the street), this cardigan is just one in a wide variety of brazen leopard print items.

I’d really like to know where Forever 21 gets the big ol’ jangly balls to put leopard print on every other item. Pissing me RIGHT off.

This cardigan looks like it’s made from the hairballs of a leopard plushie come to life.  The only people sick enough to wear this thing are going to be Furries who are just coming out of the kennel and other maladjusted adults who should and do know better but just don’t give a shit anymore.

Or drag queens. In which case, I am all for it.

Forever 21, WTF?

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