Tag Archives: brown

Award Winning Shorts

If there was an Olympic sport which awarded clothing stores for selling the ugliest pair of shorts I have ever seen, these puffers would take the gold.

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Pleated Waist Shorts: $18.01

Faux suede, camel colored with pleats that seem specifically made to be unflattering. Now there is a time and place for pleats. But that time is not now and that place is not anywhere around the crotch region.

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It’s like some poor intern is crouched just out of frame with a blow dryer pointed straight up her crotch. If you looked up “Front Butt” in the dictionary, there would be a picture of these shorts.

Forever 21, Stop Putting Pleats Where they Don’t Belong.

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Overpriced WTFurry Coat

What do you get when you cross discount coyote fur parcels with a coat that looks like it was first designed during a time when Michael Jackson was still black?

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Shagged Trim Leather Coat: $79.90

I don’t even know what you get, but apparently it’s priced at $79.90.

Even the model is like, WTF?

Forever 21 – $80? To look like Wile E. Coyote in drag? Bitch, you cray cray.

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It’s Over!

Sooo … you do know Halloween is over, right?

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Fringed Suedette Jacket: $39.80

You DO know people are done dressing up like sexy little Tiger Lily sluts, correct?

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And that no one is trying to rock the Lone Rider, 1950s television western interpretation of what cowboys looked like – am I to understand you ARE fully aware of this fact?

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I mean, I know YOU know damn well jackets shouldn’t have laces. I’m just confused as to why this exists.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Le Costume Post: Part 3

Day by day, bit by maddening patchwork, leatherette and leopard print bit, Forever 21 continues to release key pieces of costume outfits on the unsuspecting general public, disguised (poorly) as regular everyday clothing.

The following cardigan is a happy inclusion in the unintentional costume category.

Purl Knit Open Cardigan: $32.80

Part of what I hear Forever 21 is internally calling their “Homeless Haute¬†Couture” collection, this long cardigan lacks style, form, function and all sense of appropriateness for life in general.

It also probably smells like it looks, which is like unwashed ass pickled in street stank. No matter how hard I try and no matter how much I know it not to be true, I keep imaging the model’s face covered in a patchy beard with an even patchier grin peaking out of it.

I have issues.

Forever 21, Spare Change? What? Fuck you, I know you have some!

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Perfect Super Bowl Outfit

Oh yes.

Loop Yarn Sweater Vest: $17.99

Guacamole and vomit stains will blend right the eff into this doodoo colored thing.

Forever 21, Game on.

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Derelicte!

WTFresh Hell is this?

Price: $26.00

Is that an old fisherman’s net with little peices of trash¬† and carp scales bundled together at the collar? Are those yarn loops?

Nope. Just trash.

This thing looks like a piece from Mugatu’s Derelicte campaign.

Forever 21,

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOBAEa9wn8]

WTF?

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