If you’re amongst them in the fray today or are recovering from your own mission, covered in the sweat and shame of the fallen, bless you. Bless you for keeping our economy afloat and Godspeed on Cyber Monday.
Now, there is no doubt Black Friday and Cyber Monday offer deals worth fighting for. Flat screen TVs halved in price and sold in sample quantities, special edition e-readers with accessories packages thrown in for free, and that most glorious of all sales – the sales on clothes, accessories and beauty products.
Being a champion of cheap products in all those categories, you would think Forever 21′s Black Friday offerings would be the bomb. You would think that, wouldn’t you, you poor, diluted fools.
Well fucking think again! It’s a Buy One Get One Free mishmash of crap they couldn’t get rid of during the rest of the year.
Slanted Boxes Top: $9.99
She looks pretty contented for someone who just got run over by a truck in a Road Runner cartoon.
Crotchet Front Cardigan: $22.99
Ugh, woof. Where was this couch doily when I did my Mentally Retarded Female costume post? Oh and by the way, the plus size version of this costs $2 more than the standard sized version. Thanks for the hint, Forever 21.
Mixed Print Maxi Skirt: $3.96
Yes, I’d definitely like to buy one of these hillbilly table cloths and wear it as a skirt. Especially if I get the second one free! Holy Hell.
And in case you think I’m just picking out the bad stuff, here’s a link to their Black Friday sale section. It’s riddled with things that might as well be human feces. I would just as soon wear human shit on my body than pay for any of these.
Which makes sense, because this “sale” is nothing more than thinly disguised dump of unwanted inventory.
Forever 21, WTF?