Tag Archives: accessories

Insane in the Body Chains

Good news for people whose parents never paid them enough attention, and Rhianna.

bodychain

Layered Shoulder Chain: $10.90

Forever 21 is now carrying an unnecessarily wide variety of body chains for people to purchase with money they could have used on LITERALLY anything else.

bodychain2

Layered V-Neck Body Chain: $15.90

I feel like this is not MEANT to look like a series of increasingly large cow udders cascading across her torso, but I guess I see what I want to see.

Forever 21, WTF?

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Charmsies Iridescent Mix Hair Charms

Ok, but… these are hair stickers, though.

haircharms

Charmsies Iridescent Mix Hair Charms: $10.00

Is it bad that I IMMEDIATELY want to put these in my pubes? Just grow out a full, Rick Ross beard style bush and rock these little pearly stickers in it.

rickrossbeard

DAYAM. So Sophisticated.

Forever 21, Stop Making It Impossible for me to Not Put Stickers on my Bush.

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The Illest Crew Socks

Oh my.

OddSocks

Odd Sox The Illest Crew Socks: $14.90

Just so we’re all clear, what we’re looking at is a pair of socks with a teddy bear wearing a crown, a gold chain and a Cosby sweater that bleeds down through the length of the sock, ending just before the tippy toes.

I feel like this bear is what Kanye West sees when he looks in the mirror. The only redeeming quality of these is the name. “The Illest Crew Socks” sounds like a line from a Lonely Planet song about office thug life.

Forever 21, WTF?

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The Tie is Too Damn Dye!

I think I’ve figured out why Forever 21 keeps pumping out these unspeakable WTFs.

Rhinestoned Iridescent Butterfly Necklace: $7.80

Embellished Tribal Clutch: $27.80

Boho Feather Earrings: $4.80

Floppy Hat with Flower: $12.80

Geometric Straw Cuff: $4.80

Faceted Clear Bracelet: $4.80

Contrast Spike Bracelet: $6.80

Forever 21, WTF?

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Insert Here

Sometimes…

Asymmetrical Cutout Cuff: $6.80

Sometimes the dick jokes just write themselves.

That’s it. Let your mind fill in the blank.

The fleshy, veiny blank.

Forever 21, I Think you May be Disturbed to Find Out How Some People are Going to Use This…

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Tassels and Ta-tas

I think Forever 21 may be experiencing The Little Mermaid effect with these tassel earrings.

Ombre Tassel Earrings: $5.80

You know that scene when she thinks the fork is a comb?

She was confused.

Just like you seem to be confusing those titty danglers for ear adornments.

Fixed that for you.

Forever 21,

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Forever 21 Offers Outfits for Coachella

You ever look at something, clothing trend or otherwise, and just know it’s going to be one of those things we all make fun of and regret 10 years from now?

Pretty sure these looks Forever 21 has put together to coincide with the California art and musical fest Coachella are 110% that.

It’s not that Forever 21′s stylists aren’t spot on about what kind of hipster madness gets thrown together for Coachella every year. The uber short-shorts, the flowy tops, the fringe, the neon, the pre-frayed everything. That’s all painfully accurate.

It’s just when I look at these I always imagine the same people wearing them today looking back on this decade and getting stuck in an infinite face palm loop.

So what do YOU think?

Will we regret these fashion decisions in our 40′s or will the “homeless looking yet perfectly manicured” style be remembered fondly?

Forever 21, This Really Isn’t About You.

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Imminent Ned Knows the Horrors of April

Oh God…

Forever 21, WTF?

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Wonderful Wednesday: Chanel without the Credit Card Hell

Living in Los Angeles amongst both the rich and the famous, I am presented almost daily with a double edged sword of delights and disappointments.

We have amazing restaurants with amazing food that are sometimes so amazing you have to wait a fortnight before you can actually eat in them.

The streets are littered with beautiful women and the odds of seeing an actual celebrity can go from slim to none to almost unavoidable with the change of a zip code.

And, most importantly, we have every shop you could ever want and every shop you could never afford to actually shop in.

One of those shops just happens to be one of my favorites.

One of those shops is Chanel.

Even though I love the crisp, clean lines and posh quilted loveliness this super luxe brand has to offer, I’m in no position to pay super luxe prices.

However, through the wonders of Forever 21′s copy cattish homage items to Chanel, we can all indulge our silly desire to look like skeleton puppet genius Karl Lagerfeld’s dream girl.

Leatherette Rose Bag: $19.00

If you can’t afford Rodeo Drive, why not just take a stroll down Front Street?

Take a walk with me, ladies. It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading

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Slave Rings: They are a Real Thing

Yesterday I posted a pic of this ring (I use that word loosely. If I had to describe this accessory to a Martian I would probably call it a plastic hand toupee.) on the Facebook page.

Breaded Bracelet Ring: $5.80

Those exposed to this hand enhancement product experienced reactions ranging from nostalgic recognition – apparently these were acceptable in the 90′s – to confusion.

One commenter asked, “What is that? Wicker?”

Listen here, Forever 21.

When a customer asks the question, “What is that? Wicker?” about one of your rings, you are DOING RINGS WRONG.

Forever 21, WickerTF?

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