I think I’ve figured out why Forever 21 keeps pumping out these unspeakable WTFs.
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Rhinestoned Iridescent Butterfly Necklace: $7.80
Embellished Tribal Clutch: $27.80
Boho Feather Earrings: $4.80
Floppy Hat with Flower: $12.80
Geometric Straw Cuff: $4.80
Faceted Clear Bracelet: $4.80
Contrast Spike Bracelet: $6.80
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Forever 21, WTF?
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Sometimes…
Asymmetrical Cutout Cuff: $6.80
Sometimes the dick jokes just write themselves.
That’s it. Let your mind fill in the blank.
The fleshy, veiny blank.
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Forever 21, I Think you May be Disturbed to Find Out How Some People are Going to Use This…
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I think Forever 21 may be experiencing The Little Mermaid effect with these tassel earrings.
Ombre Tassel Earrings: $5.80
You know that scene when she thinks the fork is a comb?
She was confused.
Just like you seem to be confusing those titty danglers for ear adornments.
Fixed that for you.
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Forever 21,
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You ever look at something, clothing trend or otherwise, and just know it’s going to be one of those things we all make fun of and regret 10 years from now?
Pretty sure these looks Forever 21 has put together to coincide with the California art and musical fest Coachella are 110% that.
It’s not that Forever 21′s stylists aren’t spot on about what kind of hipster madness gets thrown together for Coachella every year. The uber short-shorts, the flowy tops, the fringe, the neon, the pre-frayed everything. That’s all painfully accurate.
It’s just when I look at these I always imagine the same people wearing them today looking back on this decade and getting stuck in an infinite face palm loop.
So what do YOU think?
Will we regret these fashion decisions in our 40′s or will the “homeless looking yet perfectly manicured” style be remembered fondly?
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Forever 21, This Really Isn’t About You.
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Living in Los Angeles amongst both the rich and the famous, I am presented almost daily with a double edged sword of delights and disappointments.
We have amazing restaurants with amazing food that are sometimes so amazing you have to wait a fortnight before you can actually eat in them.
The streets are littered with beautiful women and the odds of seeing an actual celebrity can go from slim to none to almost unavoidable with the change of a zip code.
And, most importantly, we have every shop you could ever want and every shop you could never afford to actually shop in.
One of those shops just happens to be one of my favorites.
One of those shops is Chanel.
Even though I love the crisp, clean lines and posh quilted loveliness this super luxe brand has to offer, I’m in no position to pay super luxe prices.
However, through the wonders of Forever 21′s copy cattish homage items to Chanel, we can all indulge our silly desire to look like skeleton puppet genius Karl Lagerfeld’s dream girl.
Leatherette Rose Bag: $19.00
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If you can’t afford Rodeo Drive, why not just take a stroll down Front Street?
Take a walk with me, ladies. It’s Wonderful Wednesday. Continue reading
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Yesterday I posted a pic of this ring (I use that word loosely. If I had to describe this accessory to a Martian I would probably call it a plastic hand toupee.) on the Facebook page.
Breaded Bracelet Ring: $5.80
Those exposed to this hand enhancement product experienced reactions ranging from nostalgic recognition – apparently these were acceptable in the 90′s – to confusion.
One commenter asked, “What is that? Wicker?”
Listen here, Forever 21.
When a customer asks the question, “What is that? Wicker?” about one of your rings, you are DOING RINGS WRONG.
Forever 21, WickerTF?
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Wild Horse Ring: $3.80
I mean, he’s not even being subtle about it. The tail is at full lift extension. He’s peering around, utterly engrossed, nose gone deep like he’s inhaling a complex wine.
This is not a scene suitable for handshakes and first impressions.
Forever 21, WTF?
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Layered Feather Necklace: $12.80
Meanwhile, at the Forever 21 factories, their team of crack designers is hard at work.
This necklace is the tangible, allergy inducing equivalent of a trend officially jumping the shark. This is literally just a bib of feathers. It looks like fetish wear for Cat Woman. In fact, if any of you try to defend this in the comments, I am going to ignore you and just assume you are indeed a cat or some other feline animal who has taught itself to use a computer or other communicative device.
Forever 21, I CAN HAZ YOO TOU STOPZZZ MEKKING THIS THINGS?
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Turtle Neck Sequin Dress: $29.80
Now, I know this colorless color is mostly reserved for the Spring time and the dress code of rap mogul birthday parties, but wearing white can make a lady look so damn fine and fancified it’s worth jumping the gun.
Plus it’s Wonderful Wednesday. And on Wonderful Wednesday, we does what the fuck we WANTS.
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Mesh Spaghetti Top: $19.80
There is no love lost between me and mesh anything. Most of the time it manages to make the person wearing it look somehow simultaneously sloppy AND like they’re trying too hard, but this top is an exception.
The soft dip of the fabric and the tight, neat circle spaces on the mesh makes it both work and weekend errand appropriate.
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Embellished Knit Cardigan: $29.80
With a new season of Mad Men perched on the horizon, this ivory cardigan with its delicate bead trim is the perfect way to get your Peggy Olson on.
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Beaded Burst Clutch: $22.80
We all know beaded Ice Queen envelope clutches are not for everyday wear (at least I HOPE we all know this) but on a special occasion or night out the all white appliqué is subdued enough to be classic and sparkly enough to be eye catching.
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Sunglasses: $5.80
If these don’t make you feel like Beyonce on Caribbean yacht vacation then I don’t know what will.
Okay, I know what will but where are we going to find a diamond encrusted thong bikini and a Jay Z look-a-like on such short notice? Forget it, lady.
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Forever 21, Wonderful.
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