Wool Feathered Fedora: $17.80
Big, floppy hat with feathers in it? Check.
Zebra Print Wedges: $30.80
Platform joints that look straight out of a very busted episode of Starsky & Hutch? Check.
Cropped Faux Fur Jacket: $29.80
The color is Apricot, named after the pimp who will eventually pair it with matching alligator loafers the exact color of a Tangelo, which also happens to be his nephew (and road dog’s) name.
Forever 21, Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy, but at Least you Make the Uniform Affordable.