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Reader WTF: Mid-Life Crisis Coat
Reader Mina sent this super, hardcore, awesome, ok-looking-until-you-look-at-it-closely jacket in last night.
Moto Jacket with Cable Knit Sleeves: $37.80
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“I‘m sorry what? Can you not handle trying to be badass so you cut up your grandma’s sweater and sewed the sleeves onto your pleather jacket?” Mina asks.
“Prolly,” I answer. “Either that or the jacket itself is having a mid-life crisis. It’s like a cable knit sweater is facing it’s own mortality and decided to get the garment equivalent of a sports car or a ponytail or worse, a hairpiece WITH a ponytail, by latching onto the pleather vest.”
Forever 21, You Look Ridiculous in That Convertible.
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Filed under Reader WTF, Uncategorized
Stay Classy YOLO
When obnoxious teens who don’t want to use condoms and rappers who have feuds with scumbags that beat the ever loving shit out of their girlfriends started saying, “YOLO” this year, I was confronted with a life dilemma. Just like that Natalie Imbruglia song, I was hella torn, ya’ll.
You Only Live Once Muscle Tee: $17.80
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Torn between the douche-bag-iness. Torn between the fake Thug Life of light skinned finger waves and whatever alcoholic drink is trendy and/or paying for mentions that month. Torn between what would eventually become a hipster co-opting of this generation’s “Stay Young, Have Fun, Drink Pepsi” and the inevitable backlash that followed. However, this shirt is just so fucking lame I think it’s officially killed YOLO for good.
With this newest, albeit quite a bit too late, addition to the lore of YOLO, I’m pretty sure Forever 21 has managed to put the sleeveless, bedazzled, generic font nail in the coffin.
I know it’s hard to keep up with the whims of an entire generation, but if you can’t at least make t-shirts that are timely in their God awfulness, what are you under-employing all those workers for?
Forever 21, WTF?
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Filed under Straight WTF
WTFavorite Things: Suri’s Burn Book
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A FERRAGAMO HANDBAG DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN BEHAVE LIKE A CHILD.
Celebrity babies are smug. With their Prada diapers and Louis Vuiton binkies. Their first haircuts cost more than your first apartment and their first words are things like “electrolytes” and “gluten-free.” They’re smug and I’m sorry but it’s an undeniable fact of life, like forced nap-time or having to eat your broccoli, and I’m not the only one who is brave enough to type about it TO THEIR FACES.
Suri’s Burn Book is a hilarious and wonderfully hostile account of the missteps of some of the world’s most famous toddlers and their even more famous parents. It’s a Tumblr I’ve been cackling over and coveting for the entirety of 2012.
And guess what, bitches – The book is even BETTER.
Enter for your chance to win a copy of “Suri’s Burn Book.”
*Please refer to the Official Rules here.
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Filed under giveaway
Winter Hats
Overheard the first cliche clothing thought of the season this morning.
Responded accordingly.
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Filed under Straight WTF
Winter Hobo Obsession
No matter how many times I see it, whether in person or promo, I just cannot get over how shitty faux fur looks.
I’m just glad this model could take time out of her busy schedule of collecting cans and throwing cats at people on the freeway off ramp to do this photo shoot.
And it’s amazing how comfortable she looks outside the confines of her under-bridge tent city!
Forever 21, Those Lady Hobos Sure Do Clean Up Well.
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Filed under Straight WTF
Cutout Leopard Oxfords
I think I’ve just found the perfect shoe for my job interview next week.
Cutout Leopard Oxfords: $26.80
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Nothing says “I am trustworthy and definitely didn’t commit a felony – that felony being stealing a trunk of Prince’s stage shoes and then wearing them to this very job interview” than leopard print Oxfords with CUTOUTS.
Forever 21, Why Don’t you Want Me to Get This Job?
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Filed under Uncategorized
20 Days and Giveaways of My WTFavorite Things
Few things excite me more about the holidays than presents. Not getting them, really. Most of the time when people get me gifts it’s something I really don’t want/need/understand the existence of and then I end up feeling guilty for relegating whatever knick-knack, widget-wangle, doo-fucking-dad I’ve enthusiastically unwrapped to the back of my already overflowing closet.
Essentially, I’m apparently a big enough first-world problem havin’ bitch to complain about presents. The only thing that saves me from being a complete and total asshole about the whole thing is how much I truly relish GIVING people gifts.
Everything about the gift-giving experience is utterly delicious to me. It involves all of my favorite things – Shopping, over thinking every detail of something and motherfuckin’ ribbons. Plus, I get to feel self-righteous about spending money, which is an experience so magical it can only be likened to holding the perfect boner of Jesus in your very hands.
So, this December I’ve decided to indulge myself in the gift of giving.
Every day for the next 20 week days I’ll be revealing my WTFavorite Things to you with surprise giveaways, discounts and treats on my digital Advent Calendar. The first of which is the Felt Fox Laptop Holder from West Elm.
Follow to the next page to find out how you can enter for a chance to win it! Continue reading
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Filed under giveaway
High-Waisted Metallic Shorts
The Holidays are such a magical time.
High-Waisted Metallic Shorts: $13.80
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It’s a time when Forever 21 starts rolling out their more festive creations.
Like shorts that make it look as if you’ve suffered an unfortunate smelting accident from the belly button to the tops of your ass cheeks.
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Nothing says, “Merry Christmas, Dad! I’m back from my first year of college and you can no longer pretend I’m not sexually active” than skin-tight metallic booty shorts.
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Forever 21, It’s the Best Time of the Year.
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Filed under Straight WTF
Colorblocked Shag Vest
You know, I can’t really be mad at this.
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Colorblocked Shag Vest: $29.80
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At least this piece is functional.
Although, I’m not sure I want my clothes to be able to function as a bath mat.
And not a nice bath mat, either. It’s the kind you see laying on top of a mound of juicy trash in a back alley.
Or the one you discover in a random aisle at Ross Dress for Less that looks like every customer in the store was wearing sandals on a hot day and ran their bare feet across it.
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Forever 21, WTF?
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Filed under Straight WTF