Loopy Leopard Print

Some people can’t stand racists, their blood bubbling up to an uneven and dangerous boil at the mere hint of a bigoted slur. Others get their dander up by listening to someone diss their favorite band or book or actor. And some people fly straight into a giant huff over which politician said what lie and what time to what person. Everyone has their limits.

My limit is leopard print, and damned if this morning I did not fully reach that shit.

Textured Leopard Cardigan: $29.80

Besides looking like something Lindsay Lohan might wear to her next court date (and ultimately end up putting into heavy rotation at her final job as a crack-addled, Vegas street walker – seriously, did you guys SEE the photos of her and her mother getting ready for Kim Kardashian’s wedding? The woman could barely STAND. She had to be holding on to something in every photo. I get wanting to be bombed for Kim Kardashian’s wedding, but come on now. Every time I see LiLo I feel like I’m watching someone slowly go through the process of becoming a zombie. Soon she’ll be lunging for the necks of DJs and be photographed dragging a wonky leg, moaning in the street), this cardigan is just one in a wide variety of brazen leopard print items.

I’d really like to know where Forever 21 gets the big ol’ jangly balls to put leopard print on every other item. Pissing me RIGHT off.

This cardigan looks like it’s made from the hairballs of a leopard plushie come to life.  The only people sick enough to wear this thing are going to be Furries who are just coming out of the kennel and other maladjusted adults who should and do know better but just don’t give a shit anymore.

Or drag queens. In which case, I am all for it.

Forever 21, WTF?


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11 Responses to Loopy Leopard Print

  1. Charles Ranier

    I’d like to object to suggesting that LiLo will become a “crack addled Vegas streetwalker.” Because even though both crack and prostitution are illegal here and yet somehow still happen, I assure you Metro will strictly enforce the “No Lohan” law to the fullest. We can’t be chasing the tourists away by letting her loose on unsuspecting johns, now can we.

  2. administrator

    I’d like to imagine, Charles, that Metro will indeed follow through with the “No Lohan” law, established 1986, the year of her ill-fated birth, but as we have learned all too well from both the “No Liquor for Gibson” and “No Pills for Courtney Love” laws, celebrity related legislation is extremely hard to enforce.

  3. hellodolly

    as you said it, i had to look up lilo´s outfit for that wedding…is it okay to wear white to a wedding when it is not yours in the US? or did she put her leopard print cardigan on during the ceremony?

  4. administrator

    lol @ hellodolly – people on the internet have been abuzz about this very question. I think her dress was in poor taste while simultaneously being very appropriate because, really, it’s LiLo. Come on now.

  5. Kathleen N.

    I think I read somewhere that the Kardashians ORDERED everyone to wear black and white to their wedding. Oh wait…. I don’t think, I KNOW.


  6. Kat

    wedding guests were supposed to wear either white or black…. so I guess it was alright!

  7. administrator

    Damn. I learn something new and Kardashian related every day. Despite my best efforts.

  8. It’s weirdly mesmerizing! There is something I *like* about it …

  9. …Why does it have to be textured? Just…why?

  10. Tracy

    I think this pattern is part of their owl obsession. Think about it. It’s kind of a feathery bird print… Hoot, hoot.

  11. administrator

    Possible. I’d hate to see what kind of devil leopard owl this was sheered from.

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