Le Costume Post: Part 2

Look! Up in the club! It’s a bird, it’s a plane – no it’s …

CLUB GIRL!

Fitted Leatherette Dress: $24.80

Yes, Club Girl. Faster than a speeding skank on Sunset Blvd., more powerful than an authentic can of Fourloko and able to leap tall doormen in a single bound!

Club Girl’s abilities include Super Head, incredible Hater-Vision which allows her to spot “all the bitches that be hatin’ up in here,” and is imbued with impenetrable silicone breast bags able boost both her earning potentional as a mild mannered go-go dancer and also boost her sense of self worth. Her powerful Bumpit of Truth (not pictured here) gives her the ability to “tell it like it is.” This power could be used to solve any number of world issues, but is most often used to say things like, “That bitch needs to stop eating, for reals. She should NOT be wearing that. WHAT!? I tell it like it is.”

Club Girl’s only weakness is Last Call and the Harsh Realities of the Next Morning, which sap her of her powers and can reduce her to a clingy whiner who wants to “get some breakfast” or “hang out later today, or something.” The antidote for this is aspirin, greasy foods and the Morning After Pill.

(Cape, thigh high boots, Bumpit of Truth and bag full of nondescript pills and multi-colored condoms not included in this costume.)

Forever 21, WTF?

9 Comments

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9 Responses to Le Costume Post: Part 2

  1. Sophia

    What the? Her head is wider than her waist! That is not how human beings are built! Worst photoshop EVER.

  2. administrator

    I wonder a lot about this – whether or not they take the trouble to mangle these photos by shopping them. I have noticed a fair amount of photoshop work on pretty much everything lately.

  3. There’s something very strange about her neck and shoulder on the right side.
    Bumpits of Truth – lol. I saw those in a store and my first thought was “what the heck do you use a Bum Pit for?”

  4. administrator

    Bumpits are architectural wonders of hair. They create that stylish lift effect, now made iconic by Snookie and Snookie drag queen impersonators the world over.

  5. Ooh, the entire dress unzips? My inner slut is calling.

  6. MM

    That was so effin’ hilarious. & LOL @ Bum Pits

  7. Laura

    OMFG This made my day! I was in court while reading this and was trying so hard to not ROFL! YOU ARE A FREAKING GENIUS!!!

  8. administrator

    Haha in court? I approve of this.

  9. administrator

    You could be naked in one fluid motion. It’s such a good idea.

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