This is made even worse by the assumption you should look like your outfit was weaved out of unicorn manes, your make up was applied by a magical fairy godmother and your hair was laid perfectly into place by singing woodland creatures.
Just in case you don’t have a team of fashion savvy mice to sew you a ball gown in time for this December 31, here’s a list of items to avoid wearing as you ring in the new year.
…
Headwrap: $3.80
This is why Swamis and genies of the lamp do not get laid on New Years Eve. That and they’re too busy either following a deeply spiritual, religious path or being a mythical creature of lore.
…
Bodycon Zebra Dress: $19.80
Pro tip: If you can avoid looking like you skinned a gay pride zebra and dipped it in Presto Polyester juice, please try. This is not cute.
…
Sequined Bomber Jacket: $19.80
Unless you plan on doing a slow motion cannon ball off a tall building to coincide with the midnight countdown, do not place this glittering mistake on your body.
…
Sequined Beret: $18.80
Girl, do I even have to say anything. Disco Mushroom is not a good look for anyone, especially at midnight. Make the resolution to keep your dignity in 2012.
Forever 21, Happy New Year!
